Q: I am a stay-at-home mom, and my husband is the breadwinner of our family. He works as a software engineer, so I know that he has to be busy most of the time. But when I get sick, he becomes insensitive towards me and doesn’t show much empathy for my condition.
He doesn’t help me with anything and just keeps working at his desk without noticing that I’m in pain or need anything else. He’s always telling me to “just go rest” when I ask him to do something for me, even though he knows how much it would mean to me if he helped out.
It is natural for you to want your man to be more empathetic when you’re sick. You want him to be more understanding about what you’re going through. It can make you feel a lot better when he does small things to make your life easier, like cooking meals or taking care of children while you’re recovering from your illness.
But when your husband’s reaction to your illness is not in line with what you need, it can give you a feeling that he is insensitive to your needs.
It is understandable when you get really fed up with his behavior. There is nothing wrong with expecting your husband to be more considerate towards you.
A Lot of Men Think That All House Work is Women’s Work
Many men think that all housework is women’s work. But in reality, Men are equally responsible for household chores and other tasks around the home.
This is a common misconception because of the way society teaches boys how to be men.
In the past, women were thought of as the ones who would take care of their husband’s needs. Women were expected to do all of the housework, and men were only expected to provide for their families. This stereotype is still prevalent today, as many men have a hard time understanding why they should change their behavior even when their wife is sick.
Why Your Husband is Insensitive to You When You Are Sick
If your husband is insensitive to you when you’re sick, it may be because he doesn’t know how to show care. If he’s not a caregiver by nature and has never been in that role before, then this can be an issue.
Your husband might also not understand the importance of taking care of his partner when they are ill.
He may be dismissive of your needs, or he may be trying to avoid any distractions from work. Either way, it’s important for you to know why this behavior is happening so that you can deal with it better. Below are some of the reasons why he is not showing any signs of concern for you or your condition –
- It’s not that he doesn’t care about you; it’s just that he has no idea how to show it. He simply doesn’t know what to say or do when you’re sick.
- He doesn’t think you need him when you are sick.
- He has his own life and priorities that he needs to attend to, and cannot always be with you during your time of need.
- He feels like everything is fine or that it isn’t really that serious.
- It’s not easy for him to show his emotions because he’s used to being strong and never showing weakness in front of others.
- He’s not sensitive to your needs because he has never been sick before
- It’s not in his nature
- You are not the same person you were before you got sick
Dealing With An Insensitive Husband
Some men may not be the most sensitive people. They might not know what to say at times like these, or they might have a hard time understanding how their words can hurt someone. Below are some tips on how to deal with a husband who is insensitive when you’re sick.
1. Know That Their Lack Of Sensitivity Is Not Intentional And They Are Just Being Themselves
On the surface, it may seem like your husband is insensitive and doesn’t care about your feelings. But if you dig deeper, you’ll find that they are just being themselves.
When you’re in the middle of a fight with him, You need to take a step back and remind yourself that he isn’t trying to hurt you on purpose. Maybe the pressure of you falling sick is bringing out the worst in him.
Men are wired differently than women, and it’s not always easy to understand the way they think.
2. Don’t Expect Them To Always Be There For You Emotionally; Some Men Just Aren’t That Good At It
It’s not always easy to find the right words to say when you’re hurt or when your husband is hurting you. But there are some things that every woman should know and understand about men in order to make their relationships work.
Men are not always good at expressing emotions, which is sometimes why they come across as insensitive or inconsiderate.
They don’t have the same skillsets as women when it comes to dealing with emotions and feelings. This is why it’s important for a woman to know how men communicate and show emotions.
It’s not that men are bad at being emotionally supportive; it’s just that some of them are wired differently. They have different sets of priorities, and it can be hard for them to prioritize their feelings and the needs of their loved ones.
3. Advice Him On How He Can Improve His Behavior
When your husband is insensitive towards you, don’t try to make them fix the problem; instead, give them advice on how they can improve their behavior.
The first thing to do is to understand that there is a difference between being insensitive and being unaware. If your husband is insensitive because he doesn’t know any better, then you need to help him learn about it.
It’s important that you are able to talk to your husband without feeling like they’re doing something wrong or that you’re trying to teach them a lesson.
It’s not always about fixing something and it’s not always about you. Sometimes, it’s about understanding what other people are going through.
Communicate with him about what’s going on and how he can change his behavior.
He may be trying to be helpful, but his actions are not. Relationships get healthier when couples learn to love and care for each other during difficult times.
A lot of people who are ill feel like they are constantly being judged and criticized by others. In a situation like this you must remember that your partner has a different perspective on life and illness than you do.
Try to explain your perspective to your partner in a way that will help them understand what you want them to change in their behavior.
4. Keep Your Cool, Even When You Are Angry Or Frustrated
When the person you love is insensitive to your illness, it can be hard to keep your cool.
Take a moment before responding and think about what you want the outcome of this conversation to be. You should also remember that no one’s perfect and that everyone has moments of weakness or bad behavior.
You can say something like –
I’m sorry I got mad at you the other day. I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, and I know that you were just trying to help. But i expect you to be more understanding and sensitive when i am not keeping well. It’s not your fault, but sometimes when we’re tired or stressed out it can be hard for us to see things from each other’s point of view.
It’s important for us not just to understand each other but also care about each other more than anything else in the world–even if we don’t always show it in the same way.
I want us to get back on track with our relationship–we really need that right now because our lives are busy and complicated and we need each other more than ever.
Let Him Know That You’re Not Going To Tolerate This Behavior
If he is constantly taking you for granted, then make sure that he knows that you’re not going to put up with his crap anymore. Show him how much the situation is affecting you by letting him know what’s going on in your head and heart.
You should also consider talking with a relationship therapist who can help you work through your issues with your partner.