My Mother Lives With Me And My Husband And It’s Becoming Difficult to Deal With

If you live with your mom and your husband is not happy with it, things can get very tricky for you.

Requesting your mother to move out can be a gut-wrenching experience.

Your mother might not be happy about this, but you don’t really have many options given that your husband doesn’t wish to live in the same house as her.

It is natural for you not to want to betray your mother, but you must understand that your primary responsibility is to your new family.

Communicating your concerns to her might make things easier for you. Let her know what you’re going through. Sit with her and make her understand the whole situation.

Help her find a new place and figure out how you can support her while maintaining a cordial/peaceful relationship with your family. If it means helping her with some expenses, find a way to do that.

If living with a senior community is an option, you must consider that.

It may hurt her feelings when you ask her to move out, but you’ll still need to act. Once everything falls in place, she will be better off.

You can say something like –

“Mom, the adult thing to do is to find your own place nearby. You are important to me, and I will always be there for you if you need help or guidance. We will help you move and set up a place and visit as often as we can. We can arrange a nearby place where you can live and visit us occasionally. “

There Is No Easy Way To Do This

You will have to be honest and explain to her what you want her to do. Tell her how important she is to you and how you appreciate what she has done for you.

Explain to her that you will always have her back; if you had an option, you never would have asked her to leave. Tell her that staying together might jeopardize your relationship with your partner.

No doubt she will feel bad about it, but your must try your best to console her. 

No one can love you more than your parents, always stay in touch with them and ensure you are there for them when they need you.

What If She Has No Income?

If your mother is struggling financially, you’re going to have to help her find ways to be more financially secure.

If you can help her financially or rent a place for her, do not hesitate to offer support.

Find out if she’s eligible for government assistance and how to claim it.

Paying your mother’s rent when you have an extra room at home might seem pointless, but if it helps save your relationship with your husband, you must do it.

What if you want her to stay?

You may have an excellent relationship with your mom and don’t want her to leave; it could be because she’s always helped with the kids, cooking, or looking after your house. But when your husband is uncomfortable with having her around, you do not have much choice.

You arrived at this situation because you didn’t address the ‘issues” on time. Maybe your husband expressed his concerns several times, but you ignored them. 

It is natural for you to want your family to work this out. But you need to understand that if your husband sees you getting adamant about making your mother stay, it can negatively impact your relationship.

To overcome this challenging situation, you must act with patience and maturity. This will require you to step up and find an amicable solution to the problem.

Your primary concern should be making your husband feel heard and understood. Rather than ignoring his concern, it would help if you made him feel that you understand what he is going through.

Do not let your love for your mother to come between you and your husband

Try to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and your mother. Do not expect these issues to resolve themselves. You will be required to deal with these issues with more maturity and understanding.

If you want things to work out between your husband and your mother, it will be essential for you to set some house rules and boundaries. You must also make sure that everyone respects these boundaries. 

Do Not stretch it out

If you’ve tried your best to work things out, but there is still no improvement, then it would be in your best interest to let it go. It’s best for you to step back.

Respect his concerns and find a way to get a solution as soon as possible.

You should only agree to have your mother live with you if your husband agrees. Forcing your choices on your husband can do irreparable damage to your relationship. As mentioned earlier, the key is to approach this situation with caution and maturity.

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