As we age in our life, we expect our relationships to grow accordingly, but this is not the case if you get stuck in an – “almost relationship.” One cannot define a relationship in black and white, and when it comes to “almost relationship,” these lines are entirely grey and blurred.
There is a complete lack of certainty. Rules keep on changing over time; you are unsure what you are getting into; the only sure thing is that you are in a ‘semi relationship,’ which is confusing and hurtful.
An almost relationship is a situation where two people spend a lot of time together. They have compatibility and share a romantic bond, but there is continued uncertainty about this bond. They are no conversations regarding commitment and exclusivity.
All relationships need time to develop, but one of the biggest problems with “almost” relationships is that they don’t develop at all.
Have you discussed if you two are exclusive? If you invite him or her to your family gathering, will they be interested? Would it be weird if one of you called just to chat? Can you easily relate to these thoughts? You know by now that if you don’t get the correct answer to questions like these, they start collecting in your head at lightning speed.
Even after months or years of confusion and uncertainty, the only thing that seems sure is that you have no idea where this relationship is heading. Furthermore, no one is showing any intention to discuss this any time soon.
One big question always remains in your head: Is it worth moving ahead? Is there any probability for commitment down the line?
There is a chance that it may become something significant in the future. However, there are possibilities that you are just wasting your time with something that will never turn into anything of value.
People who are uncertain regarding the state of their relationship often attempt to inquire from their spouse regarding where they are heading. However, it could be like a kiss to death asking this question at an inappropriate time.
When your almost-lover is struggling to explain or define the current state of your relationship, he or she will most likely refrain from making any commitment. When you or your partner are not ready for a commitment, you are in an “almost relationship.”
Are you really wasting your time?
You can find an answer to this question if you and your partner unanimously agree about the future course of your relationship. It will be wrong to assert that “almost” relationships are the dead-end of a love affair; often, it is, in fact, the beginning of a lasting romantic relationship.
There are a variety of reasons why couples end up in an “almost” relationship. For some, it is just how they approach their relationship. In some cases, people don’t want to show any sign of commitment without receiving any positive signals from their partner.
It will not be wrong to compare “almost relationship” to a first date; the former is just longer. In both cases will always find yourself as well as your partner struggling to know each other better.
Below are few signs that indicate you are in an “almost” relationship.
1. You don’t see a future together.
You must introspect and ask yourself if you really see a future with your “almost-lover”? Stop living in a fantasy, be practical and try to find out if you see him staying with you in the long term. Everyday things you do together and every small or big decision you make should look like a foundation for a more serious relationship in the future.
If you’re in an “almost” relationship where neither of you talks about the future, there is no growth, no discussion regarding the next step; it will be better for you to be single again. Because this is exactly what you are right now, but with some extra baggage.
2. No Clear Boundaries.
The foundation of every relationship is a commitment. The fundamental problem with an “almost relationship” is that you do not know whether any commitment exists or at what level it exists.
It is natural to feel frustrated about moving in the direction of a potential relationship while you are still confused about what to do about the one you are presently in.
You don’t know if it is ok to flirt back to the cute acquaintance from work. Will it be cheating if you swiped right? Many people will find these questions simple, but it is too complex to find clear answers in a relationship where everything is blurred.
In a situation like this, it is best to ask your partner. You may find this frightening, but imagine how frustrating not knowing the state of your current relationship will be? Boundaries help in shaping relationships, and you have every right to know where you stand.
3. There is No Growth.
When the state of your present relationship reaches a stage where
– things are getting more serious
– your feelings are growing for your partner
– you both start connecting at a deeper level
-things are starting to look more satisfying and meaningful
It means your relationship is now full-blown.
On the other hand, if you find yourself not connecting with your “almost” lover at a deeper level, you don’t see any signs of commitment and growth, then the chances are that your relationship has reached its peak and is less likely to grow any further.
4. Scared to Talk about the Relationship.
Listen to what your gut feeling says. Some people don’t like to speak about their relationship because it is at an early stage, while others avoid it because it is too late. There is a big difference between these two scenarios.
The sad truth about an “almost relationship” is that it lacks a future. Someone who is not committed to the relationship will not like to have a conversation about it. It is not your fault; you deserve more than a relationship that you can’t even talk about.
Never stop yourself from asking the question that lingers around your mind all the time. You must understand that a person who wants to have a lasting relationship with you will not avoid talking about it.
5. You don’t Know Them Well Enough.
You don’t know much about your “almost-lover,” and they don’t know a lot about you, either. If it was a regular relationship, you would have known so much about your partner already. If you are not at ease sharing your thoughts, your life with one other at this stage, then both of you should move on.
6. Overthinking About What to Text.
When sending a text, if you take too long thinking about what to write, what emojis to put, and then you erase and write again, it suggests that you are not that comfortable with the recipient of your message. We are living in times when talking over screens is sometimes more stressful than interacting face to face. We are all aware of the pressure of wanting to send a perfect message to that special person.
However, if you find yourself stressing too much about sending the perfect message to your special someone, this is a sign for you to reconsider this relationship. It indicates that you feel obligated to prove how intelligent, witty, and clever you are, or maybe you are too anxious and worried that you might scare your partner away.
Whatever the case may be, you need to find the core of the issue; you must understand that sending a text is not a big deal. If you’re worried that your partner will leave you because of your text, then the truth is they will leave you anyway. A healthy relationship is one where talking or texting your partner is a source of comfort and happiness rather than one that causes you to be scared.