Nothing brings you more joy than living in a happy and healthy relationship, and nothing gives you more frustration and irritation than living with a clingy boyfriend. You love and care for him, you enjoy the time you both spend together, but lately, you have found him to be too clingy. Is it time for you to break up with him?
Before jumping to any conclusion, you must try to analyze if he is actually clingy? If yes, find out what is the reason behind that. Correctly understanding the situation will help handle things in a better way.
How To Know If You Have a Clingy Boyfriend?
Although most of you might be entirely sure that he is clingy, some may be at a stage where they have just a slight suspicion about it.
Clingy does not always indicate True Love.
In the context of a relationship, when you think about a clingy person, you will have a picture in your mind where someone is suffocating his spouse with endless love and affection; such people fall into pieces by the mere thought of spending some time away from his SO.
So now you are stuck in this new relationship; you are confused about what to do next. You do not want to make your partner feel that you do not like being with him all the time; you also feel hesitant and uncomfortable pointing out his clinginess. His behaviour is affecting your peace; you feel suffocated and trapped, some times you get desperate to spend some time with yourself.
It is not that you have stopped loving him; in fact, the initial days of your relationship were genuinely tremendous and exciting. But everyone needs some alone time; they must take time for themselves when they do not have to worry about others’ priorities.
Below are few signs that you have a clingy boyfriend –
1. They Constantly Blow Up Your Phone.
If you find him bombarding you with texts and calls throughout the day, he may be trying to keep a closer eye on you. It is often said that jealousy and clinginess both go hand in hand. They have a solid and continuous urge to know what their partner is up to all the time. If you feel that your partner is continuously trying to keep a tab on you, you must understand that it is not a good sign for your relationship.
People often behave this way not because of their jealousy but because of their fear and uncontrolled anxiety. Because they are always anxious, they will continue to call and text even if they do not get any response from you. When you finally text or call them back, they will act hurt. If you want this relationship to last, regardless of their motivation, you must try to find a solution to this problem.
2. He No More Likes Spending Time With His Friends.
People he used to see every weekend are now suddenly out of his life. Earlier, it was impossible to separate them, but now you don’t see your partner spending time with them. He has stopped making any effort to see his friends because they are no more important to him. His life now seems to be entirely reliant on one aspect (you!).
The bad part is that when your relationship is not going the way he wants it to, he will not have any close friends to lean on; he will have nowhere else to focus his energy on. He will not be able to control his anxiety; minor problems will now convert to big problems. He may become insecure, assuming that he can’t afford to lose this relationship.
Therefore, if you see your boyfriend not spending time with his close friends so that he can be available to you all the time, then most probably, he is a clingy boyfriend.
3. He Has Stopped Pursuing His Hobbies.
If you saw him pursuing his hobbies before you met him and now he has suddenly stopped spending time on them to take out more time with you, these signs may indicate that he is a clingy boyfriend. You must have heard various stories about very adventurous and fun-loving men who became so obsessed with their SO that they lost their interest in other aspects of their life after getting into a relationship.
It is imperative to have balance in life; if your boyfriend leaves all his passion for being with you, it is a sign that you have become his obsession.
4. He gets Insecure Seeing You with Attractive Co-Workers and Friends.
When your clingy boyfriend sees you with your attractive friends or acquaintances from work, it makes them feel insecure, and they might start doing series of comparisons. It is common for them to get anxious and jealous at these moments.
One of the examples can be when they start asking themselves, “ Is her work friend more Smart, attractive and desirable than me? These types of reactions further highlight the strong connection between being clingy and being insecure.
5. He Needs Continuous Reassurance.
This is one of the most unattractive traits that women find in a clingy boyfriend. It feels like he doesn’t trust you enough when you say you love him. He wants you to repeatedly tell him how much you love and care for him and value things that he does for the relationship.
In a relationship, everyone needs some amount of reassurance that their SO loves them, but when it comes to clingy boyfriends, they take it to an extreme level. The primary reason behind this behaviour is that they want to overcome their insecurity.
He carries a fragile ego; You often feel that he does good things for the relationship purely to get positive compliments rather than make you feel happier.
If your boyfriend is only putting effort into this relationship with the sole intention of getting praise from you, then sooner or later, you will realize he is clingy.
In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend will not need continuous reassurance. Women like to be with confident men who are self-assured about their relationships. They are convinced that they are doing good and their girlfriend appreciates their effort.
6. He Tags Along Even Without an Invitation.
It is very inconvenient for women when their boyfriends join them everywhere even if they are not invited. When they show up uninvited to be with you, apart from being clingy, they also make them seem more controlling.
A clingy boyfriend has this urge to always be with you, but he will not try to hunt you down every time. When your boyfriend drops in unannounced, it is a sign that he wants to check on you by finding out who you are spending time with. If your boyfriend behaves like this, you will start feeling uncomfortable in the relationship sooner or later.
7. He is Physically Clingy.
It is a vital sign that you must address effectively. Some boyfriends tend to be physically clingy; they want to continuously hold your hands, touch and kiss you when you are out and about. They are always looking to have physical contact with you.
Everyone has a different level of patience for touch. When he constantly touches you, it may feel that he is too clingy, while your boyfriend may think you hate being connected.
Before branding your boyfriend as clingy, it may help to analyze whether your sensitivity to touch is adding to the friction between you two.
What To Do If Your Partner Is Too Clingy?
If you can relate to the points mentioned above but still think it is worth staying in the current relationship, you can take a few steps to positive change. One of the first things you must do is sit with your partner and decide on healthy boundaries that he must appreciate. It would help if you made him understand the importance of balance in your relationship; discuss with him how essential it is to spend some time together and away from each other. If you both can peacefully resolve the issue, it can bring about a positive change in your relationship.
In a relationship, your boyfriend may portray some red flag behaviours that you should look out for. It is essential to discuss and resolve the underlying issues that cause your boyfriend to behave in a certain way. The critical point is that you must address them before these red flags become more severe and extensive. Similarly, it would help if you also introspected whether this red flag is about your boyfriend’s behaviour or something related to you.
Try to find out if the recent tensions in your relationship are because of the dynamics between you two and not because one person is clingy and the other is not. All of us are different; we have different needs, beliefs, and thought processes; sometimes, a lack of compatibility can cause disharmony between couples. Finding out the exact triggers that cause discord and conflict between you can help you move beyond this rough patch in the relationship.