Love is a powerful emotional connection that involves intense feelings of affection, attachment and passion. Many times people mistakenly identify the feeling of obsession as love. For relationships, people always look for someone who is loyal, devoted and committed to them only. There is a fine gap between love and obsession. But how to find out if your special someone really loves you or is just obsessed with you?
As per Oxford Learner’s Dictionary, love is – “a strong feeling of liking and caring for somebody or something, especially a member of your family or a friend”. It defines obsession as – “the state in which a person’s mind is completely filled with thoughts of one particular thing or person in a way that is not normal.”
Love and obsession are two completely different feelings; people often find it hard to differentiate between these two.
It is easy to get confused between these two feelings because most of us are in an intense state of anxiety and insecurity at the initial stage of our romantic relationship.
Being involved in a romantic relationship can be a huge risk. To make a relationship meaningful and fulfilling, one must be open and vulnerable. This can be hard for many people, especially if they don’t know much about their partner’s feelings. This confusion and fear can lead to panic and anxiety. You can’t fight these feelings until you are sure whether your partner reciprocates your feelings or not.
However, there is less space for anxiety in a healthy relationship because both partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings. Despite having a healthy relationship, if you still see your partner having a feeling of insecurity and anxiety, it may be a sign of obsession.
If you think your partner’s love for you has turned into an obsession, you can look out for the signs below –
1. They Are Always Looking For Validation.
It is absolutely normal for anyone to want to know from their partner how they feel about them. But, if you find your partner frequently seeking validation by constantly trying to know from you about your feelings, it demonstrates their obsessive tendencies. One reason behind this could be the hurt and pain they have gone through in past relationships. They may see you as a prized possession, and they don’t want to lose you at any cost. By seeking validation from you, they try to ensure that their place in your life is completely secured.
2. They Can’t Begin Or End Their Day Without Speaking With You.
Having healthy and effective communication with your partner is an essential part of any relationship. However, if your partner can’t begin or end their day without having a long (and unnecessary) conversation with you, it could be a sign of obsession. It is very easy for people to mistake love for obsession. It is an obsession when you start taking so much interest in your partner’s life that it becomes unhealthy.
You can identify obsession when your partner starts to act in unreasonable ways just because you could not talk with them on a given day. One typical behaviour obsessive people show is when they keep on calling your phone until you answer their call.
3. Relationship Moves At A Very Fast Pace.
When normal people get in to a relationship, they allow things to move at a natural pace. They will not show any haste to move to the next big step. But people who are obsessed with you will pressurize you to make the relationship official at a stage where you may think it is too early. The reason behind this haste is because they are too insecure to lose you. This type of behavior is a strong indication that it is not love but obsession.
4. They Are Always Looking To Please You.
In a healthy and meaningful relationship, you will find love to be reciprocal. Usually, there is an identical amount of give and take. On the contrary, when someone is obsessed with you, they will try to give much more. The motivation behind them always going the extra mile is to please you and get your approval.
5. They Are Highly Possessive About You.
You may find it inspiring at the early stages of your relationship when you see your partner get possessive about you. Being slightly possessive never hurts. But if you see your partner crossing the lines by prying on you, checking your phone, showing strong objection when you speak with another person, it could mean that they are getting obsessive about you. There are so insecure about losing you that they start seeing everyone in your circle as their competition.
6. They Make It A Point To Know Your Whereabouts All The Time.
Some people like it when their partners show concern about what they are doing and where they are heading. But one must understand that there is a difference between caring and controlling. When they make it a point to know your location and with whom you are all the time, it can become very frustrating. This behaviour shows that it is not love but an obsession.
You can call it love only when they show little consideration and care about your needs. But when this care starts to look more dominating, it is more likely an obsession.
7. They Want To Control Every Aspect Of Your Life.
It is completely fine for a couple in a healthy relationship to take opinions and advice from each other on important issues. But when your partner tries to dominate by becoming the decision-maker and aggressively tries to make decisions on issues involving you individually, it shows that you are their obsession. It is not love when your partner wants to control you and your life.
8. You Always Feel That They Don’t Support You Enough.
When your partner truly loves you, they want you to grow, succeed and be independent. However, if you live with an obsessive partner, your happiness is not always on their priority list. For example, if you start getting success and growth in your career, instead of being happy about it, they might start getting insecure about how this will affect your relationship.
In a healthy relationship, people act as each other’s support and pillar. They empower each other to be the best at whatever they do. A true lover will always encourage you to grow and achieve your goals and dreams. They will be happy and excited to see you flourish and grow as a person.
9. They Avoid Giving Honest Opinions.
In a normal relationship, partner’s will not hesitate in sharing their opinion. But people who are obsessed with you will never give you genuine opinions. They will only say things that please you. You will always find them guilty of sugarcoating things to avoid making you unhappy. Being honest is key to any successful relationship. If the element of honesty is missing, then it is not an ideal relationship.
10. They Make You Always Feel Right.
It is an obsession when even if they disagree with you, they make you feel that you are right. Just because they want to be a part of your life at any cost, they will agree to everything you say. Whereas when it is love and not an obsession, your partner will try to be honest with you all the time. Because they love and care for you, they think it is their responsibility to be always truthful to you.
Love is a feeling that comes directly from the heart, whereas an obsession is more or less a crazy feeling. Love and obsession are indeed closely related to each other, but these two are very different realities.
True love is an uncontrollable feeling that one has for their special someone. It means affection, passion, caring and support. Obsession, on the other hand, is more like a crazy idea where a person cannot think in an affectionate and caring manner.
In love, you want the best for your partner; you want them to be happy and successful. On the contrary, an obsessive person’s only priority is that they want their partner to be their exclusive property; they don’t want to lose them at any cost. They want their partner to be with them all the time.
In love, people give more importance to each other’s needs, whereas in obsession, people give more importance to their own needs. Love is emotionally satisfying; it makes people happy. Having a relationship with an obsessed partner make you feel suffocated and frustrated.
