Being ghosted by your romantic partner is a terrible feeling that drains you emotionally. When your boyfriend stops speaking with you after a fight, it can cause many problems in your relationship. In situations like these, his behavior can make you feel that he is trying to silence you.
If your boyfriend has not talked to you in a week, it can leave you feeling confused about what he is trying to do. When he behaves like this, it is natural for you to feel uncertain about your future. You start to question the validity and authenticity of the relationship.
Not speaking to you for so many days is like emotional abuse. If he genuinely loves and cares for you, he will never try to silence you.
Why Your Boyfriend has Stopped Speaking With You After the Fight?
– He wants to have more control
Often the real reason behind an argument between a couple is ‘control’. If he has not spoken to you for a week after the fight, maybe he is trying to exercise his control over you.
There is a chance he’s fighting with you because you’re not allowing him to have the kind of control he wants in this relationship.
In a relationship, ideally, both partners should make decisions together, be it about – vacations, money, family or children. Sometimes, it can be challenging to strike a balance. But, when one of you wants more say and control over every big or small decision, it can have long-term negative effects on the relationship.
– He needs some space
Maybe your boyfriend is going through a lot of stress, and he needs some space. By not speaking with you, he may be trying to process things that are going on in his life. There is also a chance that he is not comfortable opening up with you at the moment.
When a guy suddenly stops talking to you, it can make you feel panicked and rejected.
Many of us fail to understand that when men want some space, it is not necessarily a bad thing for the relationship. It is not always an indication that he has lost interest in you.
If you try to look at things from a broader perspective, this situation can, in fact, help bring you closer to him and strengthen your bond as a romantic couple.
Sometimes guys try to get space when they think that a relationship is moving too fast or if it is not going in the right direction.
In an ongoing relationship, when he wants space, it could be because he wants to take a step back and reevaluate things. Spending time apart from you will help him get a better perspective and clarity of thought.
Some individuals will try to get more space for themselves to figure out their true feelings and thoughts about the current relationship.
How to deal with this situation?
If you still have strong faith in your relationship, you must make efforts to bring it back on track. You can try numerous things to make your boyfriend start speaking to you again. But before you do anything, it is important for you to calm yourself down, collect your thoughts and try to look at things from a broader perspective.
You need to understand that it is very normal to have occasional fights and disagreements with your romantic partner. Just because you don’t agree with him on certain things doesn’t mean that the two of you are incompatible. It is not that difficult to find couples who fight constantly but still have a healthy and satisfying relationship.
‘I think it will be more appropriate If he makes the first move’
It is very common for women to have this feeling after a fight. In a situation like this, it is essential to understand that if both people keep on waiting for the other person to take the initiative, it will result in a lengthy and prolonged standoff. Irrespective of the fact whose fault was it or who started the fight, you both lose.
‘What Should I say?’
‘How you say it’ is more important than what you say. Ideally, you should start with ‘I am sorry’. Once you’ve collected your thoughts, reach out to him. Let him know you’re ready to end the fight and move forward. Before starting any discussion with him, it will be in your good interest to verify if he is in the right state of mind to discuss what happened.
Address the Issue
Try to focus on the underlying issues in your relationship. Timely address these issues and find ways to strengthen the bond between the two of you.
There is no right or wrong way to have these healing conversations with your partner. But there are some things you must consider when trying to make your boyfriend speak with you again after the fight.
Things to consider before having a healing conversation with your partner after the fight
Before moving forward, you must ensure that you are physically and emotionally ready to have this discussions with him. To get a meaningful outcome, you need to stay engaged with him during this conversation without getting overwhelmed by the situation.
If you think you’re not in the zone to have a meaningful conversation with your partner, then it’s important for you to first calm down before moving forward.
If either of you is not in the right frame of mind to have this conversation, it will be pointless to move forward. We all are different from each other; some of us cool off within hours while others might take even days.
Take responsibility for your actions
You must take responsibility for your part in the fight. There is always a probability that either you started or intensified the argument. When you own your mistakes, it can give a great start to the conversation.
Try to say things he wants to hear
If your boyfriend has not spoken to you for a week, then in order to end the standoff, you should start by saying things he wants to hear. When you start off the conversation by taking responsibility for your actions, it sends a very positive message.
To find a meaningful solution to the argument and to end the standoff, you must try to understand your boyfriend’s point of view as well. Maybe he perceives this fight in a very different way than you. Knowing what he needs to hear from you can help you in healing your relationship and ending this standoff with him.
Tell him what you want to hear.
Once you’ve addressed his needs, you need to convey what you need from him right now. To bring an end to this standoff, the conversation must have a healing effect on both of you. Control your temptation to blame him for the mess. But at the same time, you need to try and make him understand your perspective as well.
Maybe you are very different from each other, but that can’t stop you from having a healthy and meaningful relationship. All you need to do is understand and accept each other. There is always a chance that you and your partner have a completely different perspective about the fight and the relationship.
Rather than allowing your differences to create a divide between the two of you, try to use these differences to strengthen your relationship.
How to know if you’ve a healthy relationship
If you often see him giving you the silent treatment, you need to ascertain whether you are having a healthy relationship with him or not. Every one of us deserves to be with someone who gives us the love, acceptance and respect we deserve. Below are some important signs of a healthy relationship
– There is a lot of trust between the two of you
– You appreciate and accept each other
– You respect each other
– Presence of strong and healthy communication in the relationship
– You are comfortable opening up with him about anything
– Both of you take care of each other’s needs and desires
– You have constant disagreements
– Both of you easily resolve even the toughest conflicts and disagreements
– You have strong physical and emotional intimacy with each other
– You give space to each other