Finding someone who loves you as much as you love them is not easy. You can’t force someone to love you, and if they don’t, there is nothing that you can do about it. The world is full of people who are looking for the right person for them.
What if you found ‘the one’ but your parents want you to break up things with him? Dating someone your parents disapprove of is an emotionally draining and challenging experience.
People in this position sometimes choose to continue dating their partner behind their parent’s backs.
But once they find out about this, you risk losing their trust and faith in you. Experts will always advise you to never have a secret relationship with someone your parents hate. Hiding a romantic relationship with your parents can put a lot of strain on the relationship you share with your parents.
Your Parents Are More Intelligent And Experienced
Having a happy and healthy relationship requires a lot of maturity, intelligence, and patience. Maybe your parents do not agree with your choice or your point of view. But it doesn’t make them less intelligent or mature than you.
You must never forget that they have much more intelligence, experience, and wisdom than you. Maybe because of their life experiences, they can see things you do not see right now.
Their wisdom will enable them to see character faults in your boyfriend that you fail to identify. The initial dating days are full of enthusiasm and excitement, and this excitement often blinds us.
If your parents are convinced there are a lot of red flags in your relationship, it will help if you can take their opinion more seriously. Before making big decisions, it’s worth taking a step back and looking at things objectively.
Maybe they are right or wrong, but you must listen to their point of view. They will always have the advantage of a better perspective.
Their dislike for your boyfriend stems from their experiences of all the good and bad choices they made during their dating days. Their only intention is to protect you from the bad consequences that come from making bad choices.
When we start dating someone, we usually do not spend much time researching and getting to know the person. We just jump into the relationship without worrying about the consequences. It will be wrong to say that your parent’s concerns are not well founded.
When their kids get into a new relationship, parents get worried about a lot of things like – unwanted pregnancies, bad influences, physical abuse, and going through unnecessary heartbreak at a young age.
Is it okay to break up with someone because of his family?
When you love someone, you’d want to spend the rest of your life with him. Breaking up with someone you love greatly can be one of the most hurtful experiences in life. It doesn’t make any sense to let go of someone you deeply love. But many times in life, things do not go the way you want them to go.
Loving someone and being compatible with someone are two very different things. Just because you truly love someone doesn’t guarantee you will have a happy and satisfying relationship with them.
Issues like education, values, beliefs, career, and family can deeply impact your relationship with your partner.
Many people break up with their significant other because of their family. If you can relate to this situation, below are some important points you must consider before moving forward.
1. What If His Family Doesn’t Like You?
Some parents never tell their kids who they can and cannot date. Irrespective of how your BF looks and what your parents think about him, they’ll treat him respectfully and pleasantly. They have no problem letting you make your own choices.
But if your boyfriend’s parents are overbearing and over-involved in their son’s dating life, things can become very confusing and frustrating for you. This is more common among parents who have only one child.
If your boyfriend’s parents still see him as a child who cannot take care of himself, it becomes very important that they like and accept you. If they don’t like you, it will become very challenging for you to have a normal relationship with your boyfriend.
It won’t matter how much you love each other, their refusal to accept you will make it difficult for you to have a lasting relationship.
2. What If You Don’t Like His Family
You cannot sustain a relationship when you hate his parents. Irrespective of your reasons, not liking his payments is a big red flag for your relationship. Your hatred for them can give birth to a plethora of relationship problems.
When you don’t get along with them
– You’ll hate going on holidays with them
– You’ll try your best to pass on their dinner invitations
– You’ll find reasons to avoid their text and calls
– Every small discussion with them will often turn into a big argument
When you have already concluded that you cannot tolerate them, you will feel demotivated to get into a lasting relationship with your SO. You will never want to put yourself in a position of stress and misery for the rest of your life.
If you’re madly in love with your SO, you might decide to continue the relationship, thinking that you will take one for the team.
But the truth is, as the initial infatuation stage of your relationship passes, the resentment and stress from your strained relationship with his parents will bring out the worst in you.
If your boyfriend is very close to his family, he will blame you for being unfair and unkind to his parents. This may lead both of you to develop a lot of hate and resentment against each other.
He will feel that you have no respect for his parents, and you will feel that his parents are his only priority, and he never takes your side during conflicts.
You will have to decide whether you want to break up with him now or after sometimes when things have become completely out of control.
3. Do you really love your partner?
If you both genuinely love and care for each other and think that you can have a lasting and meaningful relationship, then you must make serious efforts to have a better connection with his family.
It is very difficult to find a partner with whom you really connect. So just because you’re having a hard time getting along with his family, you shouldn’t let go of someone whom you love and are really compatible with.
At the same time, all relationship experts advise that if things with your boyfriend’s family are not going the way they should, you should cut your losses early.
So if you have tried everything, but your relationship with his family is still toxic and is affecting your mental peace and health, then you must reconsider this relationship.
Yes, it will be difficult, but you have to break up with him and move forward with your life.
4. Can you find a middle ground?
Sometimes when you act with more maturity and patience, you can overcome even the toughest challenges in your relationship. If you think that by making some small compromises, you can reach a middle ground with his parents, then by all means, you should give it a try.
If you think things are getting out of control, it is better to take a step back and start looking at things from a better perspective. You should also focus on having a better understanding of his family.
When you understand their point of view, you may feel less resentful towards them. Make efforts to let them know that you have their son’s best interest in your mind. Tell them how much he means to you.