Having Dinner With An Ex – What Are The Do’s and Don’ts ?

Many people believe meeting your ex for dinner is a bad idea. They think that it will only lead to more hurt feelings and resentment. However, agreeing to meet him for dinner may or may not be a good idea. It will depend from situation to situation; there cannot be one blanket answer that suits every couple.

A lot of the time, people will meet their ex for dinner when they want closure or want to maintain a friendly relationship. If you had a toxic relationship with your ex, it’s best not to meet up with him. It will only lead to drama and tension that you are trying to avoid.

You may have been over your ex and ready to move on, but maybe he is still holding on to you.

When Your Ex Invites You For Dinner, It May Be Because He Wants To Know If You’re Still Into Him

We’ve all been there: You break up with your significant other, and then he invites you to dinner a month later. It’s tempting to think that he wants to get back together, but maybe the truth is that he just wants to know if you’re still into him.

It might sound too simple, but it is not. It will help if you clearly understand what your ex wants before accepting his dinner invitation.

It will be important for you to decide whether you are still interested in him or not. If you’re not interested in him, you must let him go and move on with your life.

Maybe He Needs An Ego Boost

We are often told that when our ex tries to contact us, it probably means they want to get back together. But this is not always the case. Sometimes, it could be because they need an ego boost and attention.

If you get a feeling that he’s not being honest with you, it will be best for you not to allow him to manipulate you further. Ignore his calls, block his number and do not accept his invitation to meet him for lunch/dinner.

If he really wants you back, he will leave no stone unturned to make you feel loved, respected and accepted. 

He will seem to do anything to get your attention and approval, but when you’re just an ego boost for him, he won’t try that hard.

He will show a lot of interest at first by inviting you out to dinner, but soon he’ll lose interest, and it’ll start to show. He’ll ignore your calls and will take days to reply to your texts.

He Is Bored Or Going Through A Dry Spell

If your ex invites you for dinner, it might be a nice gesture, but you should not get excited. He might just be bored and wants to talk to someone who knows him well.

It is always good to be kind and listen to your ex’s needs but don’t expect anything from him. Maybe he is going through a dry spell and contacting you to overcome his frustration. You need to deal with this situation with patience and maturity.

Do not allow him to use you; rather than being available for him whenever he wants, move away from him. You deserve to be with someone who respects and loves you for who you are. Not someone who is just looking for a quick fix.

In a relationship, you should be with someone who fully supports your goals, helps you overcome your problems and gives you the love and respect you deserve. Someone using you just to overcome his boredome or dry spell is not worth it.

Don’t Get Too Excited To Respond; He’s Not Your Top Priority Anymore

Your excitement can make this complicated situation even more complex. It took you a lot of time to get over the breakup, and being reckless about things now can make you go through feelings of pain and hurt again. 

Avoid doing or saying anything that sends wrong signals to your ex. You must think this through before accepting his dinner invitation.

You don’t want to give the impression that you are still interested in him, and you don’t want them to feel like he can get back together with you.

A lot of people find it easier to avoid contact with their exes because they know it will be painful. But sometimes staying in touch helps you send across the message that – ‘the breakup was for real.’

Was It A Brutal Breakup?

If the breakup was devastating, debilitating and brutal for you, it would be best not to stay in touch with your ex. Accepting his dinner invitation will leave you brokenhearted, and it may make you feel like you are going through that brutal breakup again.

You must tread carefully, as being casual about things can take you back to square one. 

You need to ask yourself – is it worth taking the risk? It was so challenging for you to get over the breakup; can you risk going through that pain again? What if he hurts you again? 

After a brutal breakup, your top priority should be taking care of yourself and making decisions that help you rebuild your confidence and help you in becoming a better version of yourself. Taking rash decisions like accepting a dinner invitation from your narcissistic ex can make it almost impossible for you to move ahead with your life.

Do Not Assume Things

If you have thought this through and decided to accept his invitation, it will be best if you go there with an open mind and wait before you assume things. 

Allow him to take the lead. Be very careful about what you say and how you express your emotions. Make sure you are not coming across as someone who badly wants to get back with him.

Try to have better control over your emotions. If the conversation is about past issues, try to communicate your points without being too emotional about things.

If you believe that he really wants to get back together, just listen to him and promise him that you’ll think about it.

If He Wants To Get Back Together Ask Him Why He Left ?

If you are wondering why your ex wants to get back together with you, ask him why he left in the first place and what has changed since then. This way, you will know whether it is worth giving him another chance.

It is also important to be aware of the power dynamics that exist between you and your ex. If he left because he felt like he was not being respected or appreciated, then it would be difficult for him to change his behaviour.

The first question to ask is, “Why did you leave?” and the second question is, “Why do you want to get back together?”

This will help you figure out if they want to get back together because they miss the good parts of your relationship or if they are trying to save what’s left of it.

Is He Seeking A Closure?

The closure is different for everyone and can be achieved in various ways. For some people, it means talking about the relationship and getting their partner’s perspective on things; for others, it means never talking about the relationship ever again.

It is very important to understand that closure is not something that someone can give you. It is a feeling that you need to find on your own. After a breakup, it is essential to take time out of your life and put your energy into other things.

Closure is essential for both parties, but it can’t come at the expense of your own mental health. Try to find out if he is meeting you just to get closure. It would help if you also thought about whether or not this meeting will be beneficial for you/him in the long run.

If you do decide to meet him, try and keep these things in mind:

– Stay clear of sensitive topics like your relationship status and plans.

– Stay calm and don’t get emotionally involved with him.

– Be careful not to overshare personal details with him.

It isn’t easy to know what exactly your ex wants. They may want closure, but they may also want to get back together. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to ask them what they want out of the meeting and then decide if that’s something you are willing to give them.

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