Q: My ex just moved into my neighbourhood. I saw him moving three weeks ago, but I think he has yet to see me. Sooner or later, he is going to realize that he has moved into a building just a few doors down from mine.
Of all the apartments in the city, why did he have to move into this building? We were together for four years, but we haven’t spoken since the breakup (2 years ago). The breakup was very hard on me, and I have tried to get over it. I realize that, eventually, we will cross paths, so what should I do?
How should I handle this situation? Should I say Hi? Should I ignore him? Or Shall I move to a different neighbourhood?
A: Ideally, you should not be required to do anything about this. There are so many people that live by you, many of whom you might never have talked to. Most of us are just polite and wave at our neighbours when we see them.
Just because he has moved next door doesn’t mean you have to hang out with him.
The Negative Aspects Of Your Ex Moving Into Your Neighbourhood
It’s not easy to move on from a past relationship. The memories of how painful and hurtful the breakup was will always be there, and it’s difficult to forget that person. And when your ex moves into your neighbourhood, it can make this challenging situation even more complicated.
It’s no secret that it’s hard to live near a person you used to have a relationship with. The reasons are many, but there are a few that stand out.
The first is the constant reminders of your toxic past together. When he lives just two doors from you, it will be impossible to avoid him, and every time you see him, it’s like getting punched in the gut all over again.
The second is the feeling that he’s still in your life, even if he’s not. It may not be as bad as when you were living together, but it still feels like a part of him never left – which might be worse than if he had just gone away completely.
It Can Make it Hard For You To Move On And Meet Other People
You may tend to think that because he’s nearby, the two of you could get back together again. It’s hard for a person to meet someone new when all their old relationships are still hanging around them.
When you break up with someone, it is natural to want to stay away from them for a while so you can get your head clear and heal your heart.
If You Had A Brutal Breakup, It Might Bring Back The Old Memories
Living close to your ex might bring back old memories. Sometimes, it might even make you feel like you are still in a relationship with them. That is why many people who had a brutal breakup prefer to live far away from their exes.
This is not always possible because sometimes it becomes necessary for you to live near your ex for various reasons (especially when you share a child with him). If this is the case, you’ll need to figure out ways to deal with these feelings and memories while living near your ex.
It Can Create Problems In Your Present Relationship
If you were deep in love and had a ‘peaceful’ break-up with him, you might find yourself thinking about the past and feeling nostalgic, making you miss him and want to be with him again.
But the reality is that when he moves into your neighbourhood, it can create problems between you and your current partner.
This is because when you see him every day, he’ll constantly be on your mind, which means that he’ll occupy a lot of space in your thoughts and feelings. And when this happens, it becomes much harder to focus on the present moment or new relationships.
If your current relationship is going through a tough patch, then you will always be reminded how things were so better with your ex.
You may even find yourself comparing your past and present relationships and may feel that you both still have romantic feelings for each other.
People who are in constant touch with their exes are more likely to end up wanting to get back together again or even cheating on their partner.
It Can Take You Back To Square One
Narcissistic exes are a nightmare. They do not care about your feelings; they only care about themselves. If they don’t get what they want, they will do anything to make you feel bad. This is especially true when he moves into your block.
Moving away from the narcissistic ex can be difficult because the person may not let go of their power over you and will continuously try to make your life miserable.
When your narcissistic ex moves into your neighbourhood, it will bring back the breakup horror, taking you back to square one.
The Positive Aspects of Your Ex Moving In Close By
If you share a great friendship with your ex and your breakup with him was amicable and uneventful, then there could be some positive aspects of him moving into your neighbourhood.
He may become your best friend and someone you can rely on for emotional support. You may also find that he is a great person to have around the house when you need help with chores.
If you’re not ready for a new relationship, having your ex move next door to you could be an excellent way to maintain some contact without being together again.
If he is still in love with you, it might give him the opportunity to show his love and commitment in other ways than trying to get back together again.
When You Share A Child Together
When your ex, who shares a child with you, moves into your neighbourhood, you might find yourself feeling conflicted. You may be happy to see him again, but you may also be filled with anger. It can be hard to know how to act in these circumstances.
The first thing that you need to do is remind yourself that this is a good thing for both of you. You will get the chance to reconnect and potentially rebuild the relationship. If there is no chance of things working out, then his living close by could make it easier for both of you when it comes time for the divorce proceedings and parenting arrangements.
It could also give your children an opportunity to build a relationship with their father. This can help them feel less abandoned and more secure in their own home life.
If you have pets, you will always have someone nearby who will take care of them for you. It is all about looking at the positives and not focusing on what could go wrong.
When Your Ex Moves Nearby – How To Deal With This Situation?
It’s not always easy to deal with the ex moving nearby. It can be tough to figure out how to deal with the situation. This list should help you get started on a plan of action.
1) Keep your cool, and don’t lash out at them.
2) Give yourself time to process what has happened before making rash decisions.
3) Consider talking to a therapist about how you are feeling and what you want to do next in life.
4) Stay away from them for a while, but don’t act like they’re not there when they are nearby, or it will just make things worse in the long run.
5) Talk to your friends and family. They will be able to provide support and advice during this tough time.
6) Keep yourself busy with work, hobbies, and socializing with friends.
7) This will help take your mind off of your ex’s proximity.
8) Try not to show any signs of interest in them, even if you are dying to see them.
9) If you can’t resist the urge, go out with friends, so it doesn’t seem like a date.
10) Don’t be too available for conversation or try to reach out first; let them come to you instead.
The Importance of Having Healthy Boundaries With Your Ex
It can be difficult to establish healthy boundaries with your ex. But without them, you will continue to feel hurt and frustrated.
There are many reasons why we might want to maintain a relationship with our ex, but we should never forget that when it comes to the topic of boundaries, it is essential to find a balance between what you want and what they want.
Boundaries include anything that you need to feel safe and respected, such as:
-setting the time and place for contact;
-setting limits on how much contact you want;
-keeping your personal information private;
-considering what information about your present relationship you want to share with him.