Before entering into a romantic relationship, we all have a few completely unacceptable personality traits in our minds. Personality traits like – dishonesty, selfishness, manipulation, judgment, and aggression are deal-breakers. In addition, one bad trait your partner should not possess is indecisiveness.
Being indecisive can be dangerous for your relationship. We are not talking about being indecisive on more minor issues like where to go for dinner, which phone to buy, and where to go for holidays; we are referring to the matter of hearts.
Suppose he cannot decide whether he is happy or not in the relationship; indecisive about what he wants, he is more or less dragging things because of his inability to decide.
When you think you have found a perfect match, and while trying to know him better, you discover that there is still someone else in his mind, you must cautiously handle things. There are chances he is still indecisive about his past relationship.
It doesn’t matter if he tells you that he feels stuck and will end it; you must not get emotionally involved with an indecisive man.
In a relationship, you often wonder why you have not been able to decide on essential relationship matters. Then you realize it’s not you, but your partner is indecisive.
It is not uncommon to see indecisiveness in men, but not many people know the underlying causes behind this negative trait.
Why are people indecisive?
If you dig deeper, you will discover that indecisive people are themselves not interested in their final decisions. You will find them more worried about who all are involved in the end result of their decisions.
Many times indecisive people have this wrong belief that they are helpless and weak. As a result, when they are trying to make a decision, they do so without believing in their own authority. These wrong ideas about their personality further give birth to inner passivity.
Irrespective of what decision they make, their choices are entirely dependent on their perceptions or the people who will be affected by their decisions.
They delay making decisions because they have this internal fear that later they will be blamed for making the wrong decision. Another reason why they don’t make immediate decisions is because they are afraid they’ll make a mistake for themselves.
Usually, indecisiveness is the result of self-doubt. Most of the time, irrespective of what choice they make, they will not be happy about it.
The Impact of Indecisiveness On a Relationship.
Having an indecisive partner is a very taxing experience; you don’t realize how terrible it can be when you hear other people’s stories. When your man is indecisive, you will have a lot of conflicts and disagreements.
They don’t necessarily lead to a breakup, but the constant frustration and irritation spoil the whole dynamic of the relationship. Instead of being fun and joyful, the relationship starts feeling like a big headache.
Taking too much time while making important decisions regarding your relationship will give space and time for other developments to take place. Most of the time, these developments are not positive.
If, for instance, you’re taking an unnecessarily long time to prepare the marriage proposal, it could cause your partner to reconsider your relationship in general. Similarly, taking too much time to decide when and where to move in together may lead your partner to think that you have commitment issues.
If you are in a relationship with an indecisive partner, you must prepare for the negative consequences. It will be beneficial for the relationship if you take responsibility to help your partner deal with his indecisiveness.
Methods For Dealing With Indecisive Partner.
Your partner may be indecisive about numerous issues. Irrespective of whether these matters are important or not, you will have to help him cope for the sake of the relationship.
Take the call
In a relationship, you two must work as a unit; this implies that decisions made by either of you should carry equal importance. When you see your partner struggling to decide on their own, it is time for you to take the lead. Be assertive and do what needs to be done.
Let’s say you both have reached a deadlock while selecting a new apartment. Your partner may be struggling to decide because he has some doubts about the place you have chosen. Now, the situation is that you really like the place, but he is indecisive about it. He is doubtful because he knows the place very well, and he has confused himself by evaluating all the positives and negatives.
This is a time for you to be creative and find a new place as good as the one you have already chosen; just make sure he is not that familiar with the locality.
Giving your partner excessive freedom to make all important decisions can be disadvantageous for your relationship. It will not be a bad idea to have an honest discussion with him to draw a fine line.
It doesn’t mean that you should enforce your decision on your partner. Instead, you can create a balance where your partner also starts giving importance to things that matter to you. Communicate to him that making decisions for both of you makes you happier.
Make Him Understand the Consequences of His Indecision.
Often, when a guy is indecisive about the decisions relating to a relationship, it is because of his past experiences. Maybe it was his ex who used to make all decisions on his behalf. If your men fall into this category, you will notice that he needs constant assurance on every small or big decision he makes.
He must know that being indecisive in a relationship is also a decision. Indirectly he is choosing to limit the number of responsibilities he wants to take in a relationship. He is choosing to avoid the responsibility for any outcomes that may result from his decisions.
In a situation like this, it is your responsibility to make him aware of the consequences of his indecision. He must know that indecisiveness is not healthy for the relationship; he will have many regrets down the line. Not making any decision can be more damaging than making bad decisions.
If they have your support, they will be able to overcome their indecisiveness easily. You can try encouraging him to make small decisions every now and then, like – choosing a restaurant for Friday night dinner, which TV to buy, where to put the furniture, etc.
Repeatedly making small decisions without taking too much stress will help him build his confidence. And over time, he will be able to get over this negative personality trait. All he needs is a little encouragement and support from you.
Many studies have discovered that decisions made on instincts often prove better than decisions made on calculations. Since you have to choose between two options most of the time, making decisions based on your instincts is also very easy.
If you have good intuition about a choice, just decide to go with it. Encourage your partner to decide on his instincts. Whichever option he feels is less stressful, he should go away with that decision.
Hope For The Best.
You cannot force anyone to change themselves, but you must try to be their guiding force to improve things that make them weak. When he is struggling with indecision, you must try to be there for him as much as possible.
But like everything else, there has to be a limit. It would help if you had a clear idea in your mind about when to give up trying. Who knows, down the line, they find a solution to this problem on their own.
Points to Remember.
When your partner is indecisive, he will probably disagree with most of the things you say. This will be a big roadblock when you try to help him get over his indecisiveness. Misreading your intentions, your partner may take too much stress when you are trying to help them. When you push too hard to bring a change, he may feel that you are trying to control how he feels about his decisions. This may lead them to develop resentment against you.
You need to be extra vigilant in situations like these. This is mainly in the case when your partner’s indecisiveness is hurting your relationship.
Do not confuse the trait of indecisiveness with a personality disorder. If left unaddressed, this trait can reach extreme levels. View this situation as you view any other problem that you face in your relationship. Have open discussions about it, express your concerns, propose an alternate solution, and most important of all, handle the situation with empathy, love, and care.