Getting into a relationship with a great guy can be one of the most satisfying experiences of your life. The feeling that he’ll always be there for you and give you unconditional love and respect adds a lot of meaning to your life. But having a healthy relationship requires a lot of work.
Maybe everything is perfect between the two of you, but when his parents dislike you, it can pose many challenges for your relationship.
One of our readers wrote to us – “My bf’s parents don’t like me very much and have been harsh with me. They seem to think that I’m the wrong choice and are always trying to make sure I feel bad about myself. It’s difficult for me to be around them, but I’m still determined to have a better relationship with them..“
When his parents refuse to accept you, it can make you feel very insecure about your relationship.
What to do when your boyfriend’s parents hate you –
1. Be Patient
If it is a new relationship, you need to be patient before jumping to conclusions. Maybe his parents are just protective of him. Once they know you better, they may be happy to accept you. For some parents, it takes a lot of time to accept a new member into their family. This is mainly in the case if they have had bad past experiences.
2. Be Respectful
When you disrespect his family, it can have a very negative effect on your relationship with him. This is more so in the cases if he shares a solid bonding with his parents. Doesn’t matter how angry and frustrated you get, do not do or say anything disrespectful.
When his parents are unkind to you and blame you for things you never did, it may be challenging for you to not respond and stay level-headed. In situations like this, it would be helpful to take a step back and give yourself some space.
This reduces the chances of you coming across as rude and disrespectful. Getting into an argument with them and responding to everything they say increases your chances of getting misunderstood.
If you feel hurt by something they’ve said, try to remain calm and find a way to get out of the situation.
It really says a lot about you when you are kind to someone who is unfair or unkind to you. It also helps you gain much more respect from your boyfriend & his family.
3. Let Them Know How Much You Care About Him
If you want them to accept you, you will have to come across as someone who will take very good care of their son. Figure out ways to win their confidence. Let them know how much you love and care about their son.
Actions speak louder than words. If something that you have said or done has made them feel like you don’t care about their son, they will not be very impressed by you.
His parents will find it hard to not like a woman – who takes care of the house, cooks good food, and is organized and well managed.
Your partner’s family will feel a lot more comfortable when they see that you are taking care of him. You should never get into an argument or fight with your boyfriend in front of his parents. Doing so will make it difficult for them to like you.
Sometimes relationships bring out the worst in us. When emotions are running high, it is easy for us to lose control and say things that we regret later. Criticizing your partner in front of his parents is a bad idea. Seeing you criticizing their son can lead to them having second thoughts about you.
4. Never Say No When They Invite You For Dinner Or On Special Occasions
When you receive an invitation from his parents for dinner or holidays, it indicates that they like you. Even if you are busy or have other plans try your best to always accept their invitation. Doing so will help you have a better connection with them.
When you spend quality time with his parents, it helps them understand you in a better way. It will also clear any misunderstanding that they may have about you. Sharing a great bond with your boyfriend’s family increases your chances of having a lasting and meaningful relationship with him.
If you want to improve your relationship with his parents, you can invite them over for dinner at your place or ask them to events that they like.
5. Try Not To Rush Things
It is normal for his parents to need some time before they accept you with open arms. It is a great feeling when his parents love and accept you, but the heavens will not fall if they do not. If you have given your best, but still they refuse to accept you, it will be in your good interests to not pressure them into liking you.
If you want a healthy and lasting relationship with your boyfriend, your focus should be on improving your connection with him. Find ways to have healthy physical and emotional intimacy levels with him.
You should not come across as needy to his parents. Give them space; once they realize that you genuinely love and care for him, it will be difficult for them to hate you.
On the other hand, if his parents still dislike you, then your boyfriend will have to decide how important or unimportant this is for the future of your relationship.
There is a chance that his parents don’t want to get too involved with you before your relationship with their son becomes more serious.
Whatever the case, you should not take it too personally. Give them space and allow them to move at their own pace.
6. Speak Up About This With Your Boyfriend
Let your boyfriend know how his family’s attitude towards you affects your mental peace. Tell him how it makes you have second thoughts about this relationship.
Opening up to him about your concerns might help you find a better solution to this problem. Before you jump to any conclusion, it will be helpful for you to understand his perspective about things.
Maybe his parents have a different love language. Maybe they say good things about you behind your back.
When you speak to your boyfriend about this, ensure you are not overly critical of his parents. Control the temptation to blame or accuse his family of being unkind to you. Remember, it’s his parents you are talking about; try not to cross the line when you are speaking about them.
Focus on having a calm and honest discussion with him so that he can help you improve things.
Why His Parents Hate You?
Understandably, you want his parents to accept and like you. And it is natural for you to feel the temptation to leave a good impression on them.
But in a relationship, some things are beyond your control. Doesn’t matter how much you try; maybe you will never be good enough for his parents.
Below are some of the reasons why your boyfriend’s parents hate you –
– He speaks terrible things about you behind your back to his parents
– His parents have very high expectations
– You left a terrible first impression on them
– Your boyfriend is a mama’s boy, and he tells every minute detail about his relationship with his mom
– Your boyfriend has lost interest in you, and you are living in a toxic relationship
– You fight a lot with your boyfriend
You can solve even the biggest problem in relationships with patience and better communication. Get to the core of the issue, and figure out the reasons why they don’t like you.
Put honest efforts and give it some time; things will eventually work out. When they are being unkind and unfair to you, try to be patient about it rather than responding to them. Maybe they are dealing with some sort of insecurity, and they’ll get over it with time on their own.