My Boyfriend is Too Attached to His Mom – How to Deal With This Situation?

There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship with a mamma’s boy. If your SO is very close to his mother, it is not necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. Experts believe that men who share a very close bond with their mothers are likely to have a very good relationship with their romantic partners. A man’s close bond with her mother helps him become mentally healthier and more empathetic towards their Special someone.

On the other hand, men who are attached to their mothers in an unhealthy manner usually find it difficult to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with their partners.

This is specifically in the cases when he is overly dependent on his mother and can’t function without her.

Failing to set healthy boundaries with your parents can create a lot of challenges for your relationship. It sometimes becomes very important to set healthy boundaries and differentiate between healthy and unhealthy attachments.

When your significant other is too dependent on his parents, it will make it difficult for him to forge his own life together.

What Does ‘Mama’s Boy’ Mean?

The phrase “mama’s boy” is a slang term used for guys who, instead of being independent and self-reliant, are overly dependent on their mother in adulthood.

If there’s one constant in a man’s life, it is his mother. After all, she loved him first & was the first person he loved too. She’s also probably the first woman who broke his heart.

Mothers are always caring and affectionate towards their children. She ensures that the needs of her children are met before they come into this world and even after they become mature enough to take care of themselves.

Signs That Your Boyfriend is Too Attached to His Mom

1. He shares every little information about his life with her

Your SO’s mother is not supposed to know every tiny detail about your relationship. If you see your partner telling his mother things he is not supposed to tell, it is a bad sign for your relationship. To have a healthy relationship with his mom, he must set healthy boundaries.

If his mom tries to seek intrusive details about your relationship from him, it is important that he take a stand and refuse to share these relationship secrets with her.

If he finds it difficult to say no to his mother when she seeks these details, then it is a clear-cut sign that you are dating a mamma’s boy. His reluctance to take a stand for himself in front of his mother will sooner or later affect your relationship with him.

Some things in a relationship are meant to be private. Seeing your partner sharing every little information with his mom can make you feel frustrated and disrespected. When you specifically tell him to not share these things with his mom, and he still does it, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care about your feelings.

2. When it’s you vs. his mom, he always takes her side

It’s a good quality to always respect your parent’s opinion and feel encouraged to seek advice from them. But, when your partner doesn’t respect your beliefs and opinions and only listens to what his mom has to say, it can make it difficult for you to have a healthy relationship with him.

Not respecting your opinion and always putting you down are signs that he is not giving you the respect and acceptance you deserve. Guys like this are often controlling and uncompromising. He will be hesitant to make room for your voice when making important relationship decisions.

When he is reluctant to make decisions that go against his mother’s choice, then sooner or later, you’ll find yourself trapped with him. The relationship will start to lose its meaning for you.

3. He wants you to do things the way his mother does them

Sometimes it’s adorable when men share a strong emotional attachment with their mothers. But it starts to become a little irritating when he expects you to become like his mother. For example – he may ask you to fold the laundry the way his mommy does, serve the food the way his mother does or park the car the way his mommy does.

When you are in a situation like this, it is important to first understand and accept that he will always stay this close to his mother. It is usually impossible to stop a mamma’s boy from being overly attached to his mom. Trying to convince him to give you more attention over his mother may do more harm than good. He may start to question your intention, and things can start to become rough between the two of you.

When he gives more priority to his mother, it doesn’t mean he cares less about you. In the circumstances like this, your only goal should be to make him realize how his actions make you feel and how it negatively affects the relationship.

There are chances that your significant other is not ever aware of how his actions are affecting your life. Therefore, it is in your best interest to open up with him and honestly communicate your feelings.

4. He takes financial help from his mother

Men who are financially dependent on their mother are very likely to comply with her wishes and demands. If he’s a mamma’s boy, he is likely to even hide you from his mother. Additionally, the type of relationship he shares with his mother will deeply impact his relationship with you.

When a guy is so dependent on his mother, she might sometimes test his loyalty to her. And because he is overly attached to his mom, he is more likely to pick her over you.

Being dependent on his mother may even condition him to relate with you in the same way he relates to his mom. By his actions, he may encourage you to be more dominating over him, which in the long run can negatively impact your relationship with him.

Effects

Being a mamma’s boy can have a serious negative effect on one’s psychological health. Experts believe that guys who have an unhealthy relationship with their mothers are likely to be very aggressive as kids and emotionally immature and distant when they grow up.

A mother and son need to have a healthy relationship. It helps guys to become mentally stronger and to feel secure and confident. But, at the same time, when men fail to set healthy boundaries with their mothers, it can create many problems in their relationship.

A guy who is too attached to his mom will likely be more dependent on her. He will often find himself ignoring his partner’s needs and desires. 

How to deal with this situation?

If your boyfriend is too attached to his mother and it is affecting your relationship with him, you should encourage him to establish clear boundaries with his mother.

Maybe your man is very dependent on his mother, but it doesn’t mean that you also have to be dependent on her. In times like this, you’ll have to take a stand for yourself and tell him clearly that you have your own individuality and he can’t force you to be like his mother. Tell him to set boundaries with his mother and be more independent. Rather than blaming him, you should focus more on encouraging him to bring a change in himself.

Maintain space and independence

If he’s a mamma’s boy, there are chances that he will ask you to move in with him at his mother’s house. Doesn’t matter how good your relationships are with his parents; you should not agree to move in with his parents. If you want a successful relationship with your partner, it is important for you to maintain independence and not be dependent on his or even your parents. To live a meaningful and fulfilling life, you both will have to learn to take care of yourself.

Control your urge to confront his mother

When you are living with a guy who is overly attached to his mother, many times, you’ll have this craving to confront his mother. Doesn’t matter how bad things get; you should avoid doing this. When you confront his mother, he’s likely to take her side, which can hurt your relationship with him.

The best thing for you to do in a situation like this is to open up with your partner and let him know about your grievances. Let him know how his actions are negatively affecting this relationship. Encourage him to find a solution to these problems.

You must always remember that your boyfriend’s relationship with his mother is not necessarily a problem for your relationship. It is only a problem when his relationship with his mom is unhealthy. Therefore, you need to look at things from a broader perspective before jumping to any sort of conclusion.

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