Breakups are complicated, and they become even more challenging when you have a strong bond with your ex’s family. Ending a romantic relationship often means ending all connections with his family too.
When you get a text from your ex-boyfriend’s mom, it will be natural for you to go through the emotions of warmth, panic, or even sadness.
If your ex’s mother keeps trying to contact you, you need to step back and try to look at things from a broader perspective. Consider if staying in touch with his mom will help you move on from the breakup or if it will make things more challenging for you.
She Is Emotionally Attached To You
Maybe she wants you to know that she does not hold you responsible for things that happened between you and his son. When you were together, she developed a strong bonding with you and wants to remain good friends with you.
If being friends with her does not complicate things, you may stay in touch with her. But, if, on the other hand, being close to her makes it difficult for you to move on, you must distance yourself from her.
You can say something like – “My relationship with your son is over. I want to move on and make a life for myself. I don’t want anything holding me back from doing so. I hope you understand that staying in touch with you would complicate things and only make it more difficult for me to move on. Please understand and respect my decision.”
You must block her number if she persists and continues to call or text you.
People Often Find It Difficult To Cut Ties With Their Ex
Breakups are painful, but ending a friendship with your ex and his family comes with a whole other layer of difficulties.
It is natural to feel close to your ex and his family even after you’ve stopped dating him. Ending these ties sometimes makes you feel like you are going through a breakup again.
Maybe your ex’s mother does not want to let go of the bond she built with you. When you dated your boyfriend, his social circle became your social circle. And if you were with him for a long time, then his family would probably become your family.
Maybe your ex’s mother thinks it is unfair that she has to end her connection with you just because things didn’t work out between you and his son.
It Indicates That You Left A Positive Impact On His Family
Maybe his mother still considers you a daughter and is missing your presence in her life.
It’s not unusual. Many a time, when you are in a relationship with someone, you end up developing a strong bond with all the individuals that make up his family.
When he breaks up with you, it does not mean that his family will have to get rid of every feeling they may have for you.
Talking To Her Mom Might Get You A Closure
Every one of us will go through the experience of relationship losses throughout our life. Some relationship endings will be more complicated, confusing and hurtful than others.
Maybe you broke up because of rejection or because you grew apart. Closure gives you peace and understanding after a breakup. Getting closure means that you have accepted the finality of the relationship, whatever the cause may be.
Every relationship is unique; there cannot be one blanket answer on handling the relationship with your ex’s family.
One of our users wrote – After the breakup, it was very challenging for me to let go of his mom. We were so happy together. She always treated me like her own daughter. Whenever he was unavailable, I literally went everywhere with his mom. She also once took my side when I had a big fight with his son. It’s almost 1.5 years since I broke up with him, but I speak with his mother once or twice a week; we like each other’s Instagram posts. I do not want to get into talking terms with my ex again, but his mother is one of my closest friends.
How To Deal With Ex-Boyfriend’s Mother Who Wants To Stay In Touch
Think before replying to her text, avoid jumping to a conclusion too soon. When you get a text from her, give it a moment and try to figure out your gut reaction. This allows you to deal with this situation in a more appropriate way. If you get tempted to reply to her text immediately, it may indicate that you share a strong bond with this person and miss them.
On the other hand, if you see this text as nothing less than an intrusion, it indicates that you find your boyfriend’s mother a bit clingy who is consistently trying to be part of your relationship.
Whatever the case, you shouldn’t feel compelled to reply to her text. If you’re still trying to get over the breakup and processing the loss of your relationship, your ex’s mother should respect your privacy and give you some space.
Speaking with her can make it even more difficult for you to overcome the painful feelings of a breakup. This is especially when you are struggling to move on with your life after splitting with your bf.
In times like these, your only priority should be your mental and physical health.
How To Respond When She Talks About The Breakup
If your ex’s mother is trying to get more details about the breakup, you must remember that you were in a romantic relationship with his son, not her. It is natural to feel a bit put off, irritated and heated when getting a text like this from your ex’s parents.
If you are okay with discussing about the breakup with her, you can. But, if you find it invasive, then you must tell her that you’re not comfortable discussing these things with her. It will be best for you to cool off before replying to her text.
You can say, “I appreciate your concern, but discussing this topic with you will make me very uncomfortable. Sharing these details with you will violate my personal boundaries and will put me in a situation I don’t want to be in.”
Or “Thanks for your message, but neither of us should engage in this conversation. The breakup has been very tough on me; I would appreciate it if you stopped texting me.”
Maybe she won’t take it positively, but what’s important is that you spoke the truth and made her aware about what you feel. This breakup is more about you than it’s about her and your personal-well being is more important than her desire to stay in touch with you.
Relationships are never easy – It’s complicated to get into one and even more complicated to get out of one.
Responding To A “Happy Birthday” Text From Your Ex’s Mom
Post-breakup, you might get texts from your ex’s family on your birthday or special occasions (graduation, promotion, getting a new job, etc.).
Getting a text from your ex’s mom on your special day can put you in a tough spot. But it will be in your good interest if, rather than overthinking, you try and appreciate the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.
It is a special day for you; people who care for you will acknowledge and appreciate your accomplishment. Do not take any extra pressure and just reply to his mom’s text with a simple ‘thank you’.
Responding to her text might encourage her to have a larger conversation with you. If the thought of having a lengthy conversation with her makes you feel uncomfortable, then you should not respond to her text.