You have been married for so long, but your in-laws still find it hard to accept you. You’re not even sure what you’ve done wrong that is making them treat you like an outsider. They never leave an opportunity to make you realize that you are not good enough for this family.
It is natural to feel bad when you are not accepted by your husband’s parents. You want them to like you; you want them to think that you are a perfect match for their son.
Not getting the respect and acceptance you deserve from in-laws can strain your marriage greatly. Not only does it affect your mental peace, but you also start to feel insecure about your relationship with your husband.
How to deal with the situation when your in-laws treat you like an outsider
1. Get To The Core Of The Issue
When your in-laws are being unkind and unfair to you, before jumping to any conclusion, you must first get to the core of the issue. Understand the true reason why they treat you like an outsider.
There is a chance that they feel threatened by you. Maybe they are worried that you will take their son away from them.
There is also a chance that since the day you came into your life, they themselves are feeling like an outsider. Maybe you have contradictory beliefs and values, and it is difficult for them to relate to you. Sometimes, an unhealthy relationship with their son can make it difficult for them to accept you.
You need to understand that they are not deliberately being unfair and unkind continue. It is important for you to understand the core reasons behind their behavior. If these issues are not resolved promptly, it could create a lot of resentment between you and his parents.
2. Don’t Lose Hope
Stay strong when his parents are giving you a hard time. It is very challenging to be a part of a family that makes you feel like an outsider. It is very frustrating when people who should be making you feel comfortable and accepted decide to ignore you.
Try looking at things from a different perspective. Understand that they do not have any enmity with you; it is just that they are threatened by the idea of change.
It is usual for parents to feel a bit uncomfortable when a new member joins the family. The thought that ‘everything is going to change’ sometimes brings out the worst in them.
Dealing with this situation requires a lot of patience and maturity. If you handle things with maturity, it will not be that difficult for you to make them accept you and get them on your side.
3. Try To Have A Better Understanding Of His Family
Understanding his family dynamics will help you form a satisfying and meaningful relationship with him. Maybe you and his family members do not understand each other.
When you make them feel understood, it becomes easier for them to like and accept you. You need to understand that they have your husband’s best interest in mind and know him better than anyone else.
When you have a poor understanding of their beliefs and values, it can become difficult for you to establish good compatibility with them.
4. Do Not Blame Or Disrespect Them
When things are not going how they should in a relationship, sometimes the emotions bring out the worst in us. When you blame or disrespect his family members, all it is going to do is make them feel more resentful towards you.
You must deal with the situations with patience and maturity. Do not let your emotions take the best of you. You do not have any control over how your in-laws behave, but you have full control over your own feelings.
When you are not affected by their behavior towards you, it becomes easier for you to deal with the situation.
5. It’s All About Power And Control
Your partner’s family knows him better than anyone does. They have been a part of his life for a long time. What they think about you is going to have a big influence on your partner.
Maybe they think that you are trying to have more control over things. And this may be the reason why they are finding it hard to accept you into the family.
If you want to be on good terms with your in-laws, you should focus on making them like you. Figure out ways to improve your connection with them. If you think there is some misunderstanding, sit with them and clear it out.
6. Step Back And Try To Look At Things From A Distance
When you have tried everything and are still not making any progress with your in-laws, it would be in your best interest to take a step back and look at things from a broader perspective.
Seeing things from a distance will allow you to get rid of doubts and acknowledge your wrongdoings. It will also give you a clear idea of what needs to be done to get things back on track. Taking a step back sometimes brings more clarity to your mind about whether it’s worth making further efforts or not.
7. Control Your Temptation To Level Up With Them
It can sometimes get difficult to not respond to someone who is constantly being mean and unfair to you. But responding every time can have a terrible effect on your mental health. Sometimes no response is also a response. Responding every time sometimes makes challenging situations more challenging.
Try to ignore small and irrelevant things. Not responding will save you from all the drama that comes with getting into an argument with your in-laws. Additionally, when you constantly get into a fight with them, it will become more difficult for them to accept and like you.
Deal with them through patience and maturity. Let go of small things and focus on improving your connection with them.
8. Try To Work As A Team With Your Spouse
If you think that your partner generally loves and cares about you, then you must open up with him about things that are troubling you. In relationships, you can overcome even the most challenging situations when you work as a team.
Let him know how your in-law’s behavior is affecting your mental peace. Tell him how it is making you feel insecure about this relationship. He must understand it is not okay for his family to disrespect you.
If he truly loves you, he will try his best to get these issues resolved. But if you see him always taking sides with his family, then it is time for you to reconsider your relationship with him.
You should be with the family who gives you the love, acceptance, and respect you deserve.
This is an emotional struggle that many people face when it comes to families. Some people have a hard time getting along with their in-laws for various reasons. Maybe the in-laws are very different from them, or maybe there is some history between them that has not been resolved yet.
Regardless, this can be a problematic situation because even though you love your partner dearly and want to spend time with his family, you also want them to accept you as well.
The best way to handle this situation is to do your research and find out what the family’s customs are. If you want your partner’s family to accept you, you need to be as open as possible and make sure they feel comfortable around you.