Imagine you caught your boyfriend watching porn. He knows that it makes you very uncomfortable, but he is still doing it. Many women in situations like this may feel betrayed and cheated on. You may start feeling that your partner likes women in these porn videos more than he likes you.
When you caught him, he gave you a promise that he would never watch it again. But these were all false promises. You found porn websites in his search history on many more occasions. When you ask him about it, he tells you he has no idea how it got there.
Due to his porn habits, he no longer tries to be intimate with you. When you take any initiative, you get a feeling that he is trying to ignore you.
He constantly tells you that he doesn’t watch porn anymore, but you find it difficult to believe. His behavior often makes you feel disgusted. You feel that he is cheating you with girls who are not even real.
Should You Be Upset That Your Boyfriend is Watching Porn?
It’s not easy to talk about porn because it will stir up a lot of strong emotions. Many women strongly believe that watching porn is not only wrong, but it can also create a lot of intimacy problems in a romantic relationship.
While there are others, who think that there’s nothing wrong with watching porn. They believe that it actually helps couples improve intimacy and connect at deeper levels.
If you are worried about your boyfriend watching porn, below are a few points that you should know.
Never Take it Personally
If your boyfriend’s porn habits are causing you a lot of worries, it might be an indication that you are taking things too personally. You’re worried that your boyfriend seems more drawn to porn stars than he is to you. When he stops taking the initiative to be physically intimate with you, it is natural for you to blame it on his porn habits. This impacts your relationship with him in a bad way.
It is important to understand that a guy’s porn habit has no influence over his feelings and emotions for his romantic partner. It is wrong to think that your boyfriend is watching porn because he is no more attracted to you.
Everyone Has the Right to Set Their Own Boundaries
There’s nothing wrong with having strong negative views about porn. But, at the same time, you should also remember that everyone is independent to decide their own boundaries. They have every right to decide what is right and wrong for them. You may request or ask your boyfriend to stop watching porn. But demanding them to immediately stop it might affect your relationship with him in a negative way.
There is Not Much Wrong With Porn
Many people will disagree with the statement that watching porn is bad for a relationship. In fact, sometimes watching porn can help you improve intimacy in your relationship. You’ll often discover that you had no idea about a sexual act or a good sex position until you saw it in a porn video.
By watching porn you may get a better idea about what you like and what things you want to try with your partner in the bedroom. This may help you in improving the sexual experience with your partner.
Watching Porn Help Couples to Spice Things up in Their Sex Life
A lot of relationships come to a point where the couples get bored with being together. Many times it is because of their boring sex life. Watching porn can help couples find some new things to bring back the spark in their lives.
Furthermore, watching porn can be a big turn on for many couples. In fact, many people find it as an important part of foreplay.
Watching Porn is Fun
Apart from helping couples to spice things up between them, sometimes it is great fun to watch porn. All that matters is how you engage with it.
It is completely possible to watch porn and have no negative consequences.
It can help in enhancing your sexual enjoyment whether you are single or in a romantic relationship. Sometimes it also helps you in having better communication with your partner.
In some cases watching porn can create some troubles in the relationship. This is especially true when one partner enjoys watching porn, and the other is completely against it.
Watching a lot of porn can sometimes lead you to have unrealistic expectations from the romantic partner.
Various studies have shown that watching too many porn movies might make people dissatisfied with their own sexual life.
Always Remember There is No Reality in Porn
Directors direct and actors act in porn movies. Whatever you see is fabricated; there’s no truth to it. Everything is scripted, including the “spontaneous” moments; there’s nothing authentic about a porn video.
Never lose sight of the fact that what you are watching is fiction and it is just for fun.9
It’s easy to get caught up in comparing your abilities to that of porn actors. Try to avoid comparing yourself with others, especially when it comes to your body. You’re going to start feeling bad about yourself, which will impact your confidence and how you see yourself.)
Stop Blaming Porn for All Problems in Your Relationship
If you are frustrated about your sex life, you will find it convenient to blame your husband’s porn habit for all the current problems in your relationship.
Maybe you are disappointed about how often you have sex in your relationship. Or, you may be worried that your boyfriend turns your down whenever you try to take the initiative.
You need to address these two issues separately. Try to get to the core of the issue to identify the real problems. There are chances that there are many unresolved issues between you too. Maybe your boyfriend has stopped finding you attractive.
Take a Stand for Yourself
Convey your concerns to your partner and tell him what you can accept and what you are not going to tolerate. When you pressurize him, maybe he will make a false promise to you that he will stop watching porn. If you think he doesn’t seem to care about the relationship at all, then maybe you should rethink this whole thing.
You should be with someone who gives you the love, acceptance and respect you deserve. If you don’t want your boyfriend to watch porn, if you think it’s unethical and wrong, they must appreciate your concern.
Have proper communication with him, set some healthy boundaries and enforce them.
Make Healthy Compromises if You Can
It is wrong to see your boyfriend’s porn addiction as just a black and white issue. Ask yourself – Will it be acceptable to you if he just watches ethical porn? or if he watches porn only when you are not around?
Suppose your partner is willing to make some adjustments to his porn habits. In that case, there might be a chance of maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with him.
The Big Misconception About Porn is That it is Always Unethical
Many people have a strong belief that porn videos are made in very unethical conditions.
Maybe the reason why you don’t like your boyfriend watching porn is that you feel bad for the actors and actresses in these porn videos.
Communicating Your Concerns to Him
If you have a relationship problem, being able to communicate about it openly can make all the difference. Often issues like your boyfriend’s porn habit are considered taboo that shouldn’t be talked about.
As mentioned above, your partner’s porn habits can lead to the development of unrealistic expectations for him in his sex life.
When men watch porn, they usually do it for fun. They do not realize that it could have additional consequences on their relationship.
When you speak to your boyfriend about this issue, he may find it a bit uncomfortable. Some men will believe that it is their personal choice what they decide to watch in their free time. They may get offended if you bring up issues relating to their porn habits.
Therefore it is very important for you to communicate your concerns in a very appropriate and healthy manner. You have to let him understand that his behavior is causing a lot of problems in this relationship.
When you tell him to stop watching porn, it might come as a big surprise for him. Because he believes that he is causing no physical or emotional harm to anyone by watching porn.
