Why Won’t My Husband Touch Me?

Sex is a great way to maintain intimacy and enthusiasm in the relationship. It is not a very pleasant feeling when your partner stops showing interest in physical intimacy. It can be a worrying sign when there is no sexual activity between you two for a long time.

In a situation like this, Many thoughts race through your mind like – “am I not attractive enough” “is he going to divorce me?”, “is he having an affair?”

It is not uncommon for couples to have problems in a relationship; it feels like things are not normal anymore when going through a rough patch. Many of us even start blaming ourselves for the mess.

But the truth is, when he is losing interest in sex, probably, it’s not because of you. There can be numerous reasons behind this behavior.

The truth is that changes are the only thing permanent in a long-term relationship. After a few years of being together, it is common to see a change in a couple’s sexual lifestyle and chemistry.

However, aside from the changes that occur from spending a large amount of time in a relationship, there are many other reasons why your partner has stopped being more physically intimate towards you.

Below you will find a few reasons why he won’t touch you –

1. Relationship Problems.

It is impossible to have a perfect relationship. Every couple goes through difficult times when things are not going the way they are supposed to. These tough times affect the happiness in the relationship; during these times, couples may also develop a lot of resentment against each other. If lately, there have been a lot of disagreements and conflicts between you two, he may not feel very comfortable getting physically intimate with you.

When the physical intimacy between you two is very strong, you will feel very close to each other; the relationship will feel more satisfying and meaningful.

Similarly, when you have unresolved issues in a marriage, you both will feel uncomfortable engaging in physical acts of love.

2. He Struggles To Express His Definition Of Love.

Every human being is different; they have their own way of expressing feelings and emotions. For many of us, intimacy is more of an emotional connection than a physical one, while for some, it is the other way round.


You both may have a very different meaning of intimacy. You may be misreading the situation. It could be that your husband has not lost any sexual interest in you, but instead, you are struggling to read his emotions.

3. He Is Done Making The First Moves.

When it comes to making love, often, women expect their men to make the first move. Remember the earlier days, how he always opened the door for you, gave you a good night kiss, and made moves to make physical contact with you. Back then, he felt it was appropriate for him to make the first move; he always initiated physical intimacy. Of course, you loved the way things were going.

Now, after all this time, maybe your husband doesn’t feel like making the first move. Perhaps he is expecting you to initiate things for a change. He may be tired of always being the first one to bring up sex. Because you rarely make the first move, he might be getting a little frustrated about it. To make things normal again, maybe you can try switching the roles and making the first moves. This may help you in bringing back the lost excitement in your relationship.

4. Maybe You Are Clingy.

Men hate clingy women. No one is more glamourous and attractive than an independent woman. Maybe the reason why he avoids touching you is that you are behaving in a clingy way.

Both of you love your space; it is annoying for him when you get too needy and always seek his attention. It is a huge turnoff for most men. When you are always needy, you make him feel that whatever he does is never good enough. Often, in situations like this, men stop trying; they stop putting effort into a relationship.

5. He Is Going Through A Lot Of Stress.

Every man has his way of dealing with stress. Some may prefer engaging in a fun activity with their family and loved ones, while others may like to spend some time alone. When facing a high level of stress, your husband may completely withdraw from sexual activities.

It is important that instead of blaming yourself for his losing interest, you must analyze the situation and help him cope with his stress more effectively.

6. Low Libido Levels.

Men who have low libido levels experience a reduced sex drive. Physical intimacy is an essential part of any successful relationship; it helps strengthen the bonding between the couple.

Often, couples find it hard to keep their hands off each other at the initial stage of a relationship. But as time progresses, the frequency at which they make love reduces a lot.

Depression, aging, and high-stress levels are some of the top reasons for low libido levels in men. This could be one of the factors why your husband has not been showing a lot of affection towards you lately.

7. He Doesn’t Feel Desired.

Be it opening the car door, making birthdays or anniversaries memorable or making first moves for sexual activities, the gender norms of our society portray men as someone who pursues and chases women. They are depicted as the ones who desire women, and the women, on the other hand, are portrayed as ones who want to be chased, pursued, and desired.


While past studies have constantly found that being wanted and desired are the exclusive part of women’s sexual desire, but some latest studies have found that feeling desired is equally essential for men’s sexuality too.

If you think your husband avoids touching you, it can be because he has developed a feeling that you do not desire him.

8. He Is Cheating On You.

Many women tend to conclude too quickly that just because their husbands are not getting physically intimate with them, they must be cheating on them. Yes, this can be one of the reasons, but this is not always the case.
If you see any warning signs, you must probe further. If your husband is getting physically intimate with someone else, he may not be willing to make love to you more often.

9. He Is Bored And Looking For A Different Experience.

Maybe your husband is not touching you because he finds the whole sexual experience with you too dull. Perhaps you both have not experimented with new things and stuck to the same old intimate routine. He may not be finding it fun. Couples seek to fulfil their sexual desire and want to experience delightful pleasures when they engage in physical intimacy.
He may be looking to explore all extents of his sexuality with you, but you are not that excited about trying new things. The absence of variety and creativity in your lovemaking can make him lose interest.

10. Health Problems.

It can be a possibility that your husband is facing some health problems, which are making him lose sexual interest in you. Often, men try to keep these issues to themselves.
Men think they will lose respect and self-esteem if they are not able to satisfy you sexually. They think that opening up about this issue will portray them as someone inadequate or incomplete. Some medications also lower sexual drive in men.

11. Lack of Emotional Connection.

It has been found that many men stop making love to their wives or girlfriends not because they are no more attracted towards them, but because they no more feel emotionally connected to them.

Intimacy is much more than just being physical. Strong physical intimacy strengthens the love bond between a couple. It also improves communication which further makes them feel more connected with each other.

You need to develop a deep emotional bond with your partner and focus more on creating a solid emotional connection. He may be thinking that you don’t spend much time with him. This feeling discourages him from making the first move for making love. Working on this aspect may help you bring back the romance in your love life.



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