Do you deeply love and care for your partner but hate when they complain and nag all the time? It is common for people to link Nagging exclusively with women. You must have heard husbands whine about their nagging wives, but it’s rare to see women complaining about their nagging husbands. Your SO maybe a bully who always looks for an opportunity to criticize, complain and condemn.
When living with a partner who nags all the time, you might develop an urge to fight back or push back. When you get frustrated with his nagging behavior, you may resolve to do some harmful things; these adverse reactions to his constant criticism may bring serious harm to your relationship. In a situation like this, the ideal response should be to find the core of the issue. Try to understand the reason behind this behavior.
Most of the time, these reactions are unintentional. For instance, if your spouse continuously nags about your money management skills, you react negatively by intentionally overspending or concealing your spending. The adverse response to his continuous badgering may feel satisfying in the short term, but as mentioned above, these are very unhealthy for your relationship.
Below are few tips to help you positively deal with these issues –
1.Don’t be too serious about it.
His complaints and criticism might be driving you crazy, but it’s essential to understand that taking his comments too seriously is not going to help. There can be numerous reasons behind his behavior.
He could be experiencing some difficult times at work, or perhaps other issues in his life are causing him stress. Lashing out at you might be his way of releasing his frustration. He finds it convenient to get angry at you because you have not given it back to him in the past.
If you genuinely love and care for him and want this relationship to last, you must speak with him about how you feel about his nagging. It is not ok for you to allow him to bully you. If you both can open up to resolve this situation, it will be very beneficial for your relationship.
Maybe your SO is going through a rough patch in his career, but taking it out on you is not correct. Looking at the situation from a broader perspective will help you understand that you are not the problem here, and maybe you shouldn’t take it too personally. If he finds you to be more understanding about the situation, it may lead him to reflect on his behavior. It is also essential for you to let him know that you will not allow him to abuse you verbally.
2. See from his perspective.
If you are sure that your husband on boyfriend truly loves and cares for you, and he is someone you want to spend your life with, then it might help to see things from his perspective. By doing this, you will have a better understanding of the reason behind his behavior.
Next time you find him complaining or criticizing, instead of giving it back to him, try to see things from his point of view. There are times when you might interpret an unkind comment from your spouse as criticism, but it’s not. It could be that your partner is simply making a point; however, you might interpret this as nagging because of his rude tone.
It’s better to control yourself and stop yourself from giving your usual response. Take a breather and think about what he means. Try to analyze if he is making a fair point. Before responding, it is always better to figure out whether he really meant to cause harm with his remarks.
Without patiently trying to see things from his perspective, you will not understand the reason behind his nagging.
Being calm and patient is the key to a healthy relationship. When you live with a partner who badgers you all the time, there is a strong likelihood that you start reciprocating his behavior by becoming a nagger yourself. To prevent this from happening, you need to show some patience. If you want to bring a positive change in your relationship, it is essential for you not to reply to your partner negatively.
For example, your SO might be getting bothered about your spending habits; when he points this out, you may see this in a different light, leading to misreading his concerns. Instead of asking him not to poke his nose at this issue, The positive and appropriate response to a situation like this should be – that you explain why it was essential to purchase the items you bought.
When you deal with the situation with patience, there is a strong likelihood that he will start understanding you better. You need to take responsibility for your actions and provide logical explanations if required. If done the right way, you will be able to bring a positive change in his behavior.
4. Avoid Disagreements.
If there’s lots of tension in your relationship, it will create an environment in which each of you is determined to prove that they’re right. Instead of co-operation and support, your relationship starts feeling like it is you vs. your spouse. It would help if you tried to find a way to move beyond this phase.
Try resolving the situations and disagreements in a way that serves both of your needs. Keep in mind that you are reaching resolutions together; it should not look like one of you is imposing their ideas and thought on the other.
5. Let Him Know How You Feel.
It is possible that while you are going through a rough time because of his nagging, he is entirely unaware of this. He may think that you don’t mind him complaining or criticizing things.
Effective communication is the foundation of any relationship. It’s common for people to see things in different lights. It is wrong to assume that your spouse is deliberately trying to hurt you by nagging you all the time. Sharing how you feel about his criticism and complaints might make him realize his mistake.
6. Communicate Your Boundaries.
Nagging goes out of control when your partner won’t know your boundaries. If he is mistreating you, you must not accept it. If you think you are losing it, just let him know that things must change because you can’t take it anymore. You don’t have to be harsh, but he must get your message. One of the examples can be –
Dear, I have seen that you are very forceful about me doing the dishes early; you want me to do it the way you like. I want you to know that I get hurt and disappointed when you speak with me like that. I feel that you think I am not good enough. I understand that your intention is not to hurt me, but you must know that it makes me feel terrible. Is there a way that we can find a solution to this problem? I seriously need your help.
Does Nagging ruin marriage?
Nagging is terrible; it carries the potential to destroy even the best relationship. People often think that if they can ignore their nagging partner, things will improve on their own. Whereas, When the person who nags gets continuously ignored by their partner, they get more annoyed. On the other hand, the other person will lose love and respect for their partner due to their continuous nagging.
This vicious circle of negativity will create resentment and hate between both of you. The minor disagreements will result in big unresolved fights. Ineffective communication will create new misunderstandings to make things worse.
Five signs of nagging husband –
He constantly has grievances regarding the same issues.
It doesn’t matter what you do; he’ll never be happy about it.
He wants you to do things his way.
His frustration increases day by day when he sees you not agreeing to his commands.
There is a lot of resentment between you two.