Even though your past relationship with your ex is already over, he may still refuse to move on. This can be a complicated situation to deal with. His reluctance to move on with his life can easily screw up your mental peace.
Some women believe it’s a great idea to retain friendship with their ex-boyfriend. No doubt, many couples have successfully converted their relationship status from lovers to just friends. But, romantic relationships are usually not flexible and programmable enough.
Below you’ll find some helpful tips on gently dealing with a clingy ex-boyfriend.
1. Be Clear and Straightforward With Him
Maybe you have given a lot of hints, but still, he may refuse to let it go. In such a situation, it will be in your best interest to clearly communicate to him that it’s over between you and him. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be mean to him. Just make sure you are direct and blunt.
Try not to sugarcoat things, as it may send across confusing signals.
For example – Statements like –“I need to focus on my work right now,” “I don’t think my career allows me to get into a relationship right now,” and “I need to focus on myself right now” can send confusing signals – He can misinterpret these statements by assuming that you are open to having a relationship with him in the future. If you plan to get rid of him, avoid using these statements.
To avoid any confusion and misinterpretations, give him a call rather than texting. Use clear, unambiguous wordings, and be direct, short, and to the point. He can’t force you to be in a relationship with him, and he’ll likely honor that when you are conveying what you want.
If he fails to understand you, try again by being more precise and straightforward. For example, you can say something like –
“I tried telling you that our relationship as a couple has ended, but I think you couldn’t understand me. Let me rephrase that again, we are not in a relationship. And It will help us if we don’t communicate anymore.”
2. Clarify That – “There Will Be No Romantic Relationship Between Us In The Future”
Maybe something you said or did gave him the idea that there is a possibility of you two getting together again in the future. When dealing with a clingy ex, you must understand that he may never stop trying to win you back.
Therefore, you must be cautious enough to not do or say anything that gives him any wrong idea.
You must cut him off your hook. You need to make it clear that you two are never getting back again. If you think you are required to be blunt (or rude) while saying this, don’t hesitate. Even if he sees a small ray of hope, it can create severe problems for you down the road.
3. Avoid Dragging The Breakup
Maybe this breakup has hit him hard, and he feels devastated by how things have ended. In a situation like this, it’s normal for you to feel tempted to be there for him. But you must understand – to make this breakup less painful, it is essential to just do it and move on with your life.
Dragging things will do more harm than good. Let him recover on his own; your being there for him will make things more difficult as it may give a false sense of hope to him.
4. Make Your Friends And Family Aware About The Breakup
When everyone in your circle (especially your common friends) knows that things have ended between the two of you, it will make things look more ‘real’ to him. When you do it quietly and try to hide it from others, he may feel you’re still unclear about the breakup.
It can give him false hope that things can still fall back to normal between the two of you. Even small things like this can make him more obsessive and clingier towards you.
5. Delete His Contacts & Block Him On Social Media
Breakups are complicated; when you’re down, you may feel an urge to get in touch with him. You must know that contacting him during this period can make this challenging situation even more challenging for you.
It will be in your good interest to delete his number from your contact list and block/unfriend him on social media.
Additionally, If you want to move on from him, there is no point in keeping a tab on his social media activities. By spying on him on Instagram or Facebook, you risk making things more complicated between the two of you.
6. Do Not Respond To His Texts
Your clingy ex will try to keep in touch with you through calls, texts, or even by sending gifts and flowers. He will try his best to seek a response from you.
When you stop responding to his texts, he will lose motivation to go after you. Any type of response to his text (negative or positive) may encourage him to continue coming after you.
Ignore his calls and messages, and block him on social media. If he sends you flowers or gifts, refuse to accept them. When he fails to get a response out of you, he will not feel like making more effort for you.
7. Don’t Let Him Manipulate You
If your clingy ex-boyfriend badly wants your attention, he can use guilt or manipulation to have more control over you. To protect yourself from his malicious designs, you need to deal with this situation with more maturity and patience.
If you fall into his trap, you’ll likely lose all the progress you’ve made since the breakup. Avoid getting into a conversation with him, don’t allow him to make you feel bad about yourself.
8. Don’t Wait; Just Move On With Your Life
Don’t let him control how you live your life. Having a clingy ex-boyfriend can make it challenging for you to live a peaceful life. You’re allowing him to win the situation when you let him hold you back.
Rather than worrying about him, focus more on yourself. Go on dates, plan fun times with friends, and try to live your life to the fullest. When he fails to affect your life, it will give him a message that you’re never coming back to him again.
9. If you Feel Unsafe, Take Action Before It’s Too Late
Stalking is a big problem that can take on many shapes and forms. Some relationships start off healthy but, over time, end up with one person in an overly obsessed or slightly aggressive state and the other feeling trapped. If you think this might be happening to you, you must take all necessary steps to ensure your safety.
If you think it is unnecessary to involve the police, you can also consider involving your close friends and relatives. Let them know how your ex-boyfriend is posing a threat to your well-being.
10. Avoid Blaming Yourself
When things get complicated after a breakup, you might feel tempted to blame yourself for all the mess. At times like this, you must look at things from a broader perspective. Unnecessarily blaming yourself for things you have not done can drain you emotionally. It can also lead you to make unhealthy decisions.
Maybe you think you could have handled the breakup better, but you must understand that it’s not your fault if your ex-boyfriend becomes an aggressive stalker.
11. Say No When He Asks You To ‘Just be Friends’
Staying friends with your clingy ex can be a terrible decision for you. His lingering feelings will never allow you to move forward with your life. It can land you in a very confusing state regarding the status of your relationship.
If you want to make yourself available for a new healthy relationship, you must let your ex go. Doesn’t matter how hard he tries, don’t let him hold you back.