Q: I always thought that we’d never break up with each other. He was so perfect for me. And now that we’ve broken up, I feel like I lost something important in my life.
He was so perfect in every way, and I knew then that he would be the one to make my life complete. It’s like he was a gift from God to me, and I know I’m not being too dramatic when I say this because it’s true.
He never let any of my fears come true, and even when they did, he comforted me with his words and actions. He would always tell me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me for who I was. And when we were together, everything just felt so perfect. I worry that no one will ever be better than my ex. Am I destined never to find anyone like him again?
You may be in a toxic relationship or not even in one, but the fear that this is all you’ll ever get can create immense stress. The amount of pressure on your mind will make it impossible to break up with your partner even if you want to do it.
Do Not Underestimate Yourself
A guy invested eight years of his life pursuing advanced education to get the job he always wanted. Finally, he landed that dream job. He got more money than he could ever imagine. Everyone was so happy for him.
He was living a very happy and fulfilling life. But, one day, his employer became bankrupt, and the company was forced to shut down.
Being jobless made him devastated. He became hopeless about the future, thinking this was the best he would ever get. After some time, he started working on himself again to make himself more valuable and a better version of himself. In a few months, he managed to find a better and more satisfying job for himself.
He Realized –
– Maybe I am making more money than I ever made in my life, but it doesn’t mean that this is the best I am ever going to get.
– Just because I lost my dream job, it doesn’t mean I lost my skills, knowledge and education
– If I can manage to become more positive, patient, and optimistic, I’ll continue to become more valuable and remarkable in my life.
Rather than worrying that you’ll never find someone as good as your ex, focus your energy on becoming a better and more confident person. Figure out ways to become a better version of yourself. Feeling anxious and devastated will kill your self-confidence and make it difficult for you to move on with your life.
Thinking that you’re never going to get anyone better than your ex can have a tormenting effect on your mental peace and happiness. It will make it difficult for you to feel excited about life again.
Will I find Anyone Better Than My Ex?
People fail in love all the time. But it doesn’t mean they will not fall in love again. You’ll find someone way better than your ex. All you need is to look at the situation from a better perspective and approach your relationships with more maturity.
If you are one of those who always wonder – “Will I find someone better?” Below are some helpful tips for you –
1. Stop Being Obsessive About Your Ex
Once your romantic relationship with him has ended, it is in your best interest to let him go. Going after him, again and again, will cause you more harm than good. You cannot pressure anyone to love you and get into a relationship with you.
You need to accept the situation and figure out ways to move on with your life. Being unrealistic about the situation and having false hopes of reuniting with your ex can leave you devastated and depressed.
Your relationship with him ended because the two of you were not meant to be together.
It is natural for you to have feelings for your ex still, but you need to accept-
– Maybe I still love him, but I must accept that we’re not a suitable match.
– It’s ok to miss him, but I must acknowledge that we’re not together, and for my good interest, it’s better if we never get together again.
– Doesn’t matter how much I miss him; it would be just stupid to call or text him when he has made it clear that we can’t be together again.
Breakups are never easy; it usually takes at least 5-6 months before the pain becomes bearable. The sooner you let go of the past, the better your present will be.
Only when you get over your ex can you think about finding someone better. Your lingering feelings about him will prevent you from looking at things with a better perspective.
2. Have A Better Understanding Of What You Want And Need
Once you have stepped away from your ex, you’ll be able to see things with more clarity. It will allow you to view your relationship for what it was.
Maybe you’ll realize that the two of you were not as compatible as you thought you were. It could be because your needs and wants were unmet, and you were not getting the love and acceptance you deserved.
If you have a clear understanding of what went wrong in your past relationship and the things that you hated in your ex, it will help you get a better understanding of what you want and need from your next relationship.
When you get a feeling that getting into a new relationship is only going to hurt you more, then it is an indication that you have not entirely healed from your breakup. It’s best to give yourself more time before trying to find someone better than your ex-boyfriend.
3. Focus on Healing
The pain and agony from a breakup can be relentless. Many of us try to hurry things along after a breakup to overcome the pain. You must understand that being reckless and ignorant towards your mental well-being at this stage can negatively affect your psychological health.
Your focus should be on restoring mental peace and self-confidence during this period. You should try to gain more and more wisdom from the breakup. To effectively recover from this phase, you must identify and strengthen the idea of who you are.
Maybe we don’t realize it, but relationships and breakups profoundly impact what we think about ourselves. When you are deep in love with your romantic partner, sometimes you become intertwined with your SO. This changes your goals, habits, likes and dislikes, views, beliefs, wants, and needs.
Therefore, you must work on yourself to reclaim your life and identity after the breakup. Only when you have completely moved on from your ex can you expect to get into a more meaningful and satisfying relationship with someone better.
4. Love Yourself
Breaking up with someone you love so much can have a tormenting effect on your mental well-being. Yes, eventually, you’ll feel like a free bird – free from the clutches of toxicity, but it can take some time for you to reach there.
If you were in a relationship with a toxic, narcissistic person for a long time, he might have wired you into thinking that you can’t live without him.
After the breakup, eventually, you will realize that you are much better off without him in your life. It will also make you feel better equipped for your future relationships.
In a toxic relationship, taking care of yourself becomes your last priority. Therefore, after the breakup, your priority should be to focus on loving yourself again.
Let go of what has happened in the past, and have some more “me time”. Do things that help you become a better version of yourself. Get rid of your bad habits and try to live a controlled and balanced life.
When you approach relationships with more maturity and patience, you will be able to find someone who gives you the love, acceptance, and respect you deserve.