If you think that your boyfriend’s ex is creating problems in your relationship, there is a chance that it has more to do with your boyfriend than his ex.
If she is giving you a hard time, your boyfriend always has the option to block and delete her. But if he’s allowing her to do what she wants, it could mean that he still cares about what she has to say.
When your boyfriend gives his ex the authority to control and manipulate him, it can make your relationship with him very challenging.
It can be an indication that she has some unfinished business with your boyfriend.
It is natural for you to feel confused and frustrated about this situation. Her involvement in your relationship and her ability to control your boyfriend will slowly affect your mental peace. It will impact the way you see this relationship.
Maybe his ex constantly checks with him to see if he is ready to leave you and get back to her. To achieve her malicious motives, she will try to create confusion and disturbance between the two of you.
Maybe she has yet to come to terms with the fact that her relationship with him is over, and he is dating someone else.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Ex Is Obsessed With Him?
1. Stay Away From Her
The first step towards reducing her involvement in your relationship is to avoid running into her.
She will make extraordinary efforts to track your schedules and activities when she is overly obsessed with your boyfriend and wants to damage your relationship. This can become very frustrating and creepy for you and your boyfriend.
Therefore, avoiding bumping into her will be in your best interest. You need to figure out ways to maintain a distance from her.
If you go to the same gym or yoga classes, make sure your timings don’t clash. If she is in the same class as yours, try to get yourself transferred.
2. Ignore Her Behavior
Ignoring her is the best way to make her get bored. When she tries to mess with you or your bf and doesn’t get a reaction out of you, she’ll lose interest pretty quickly. Allowing her to get under your skin is not worth it.
Maybe she is jealous that she is alone and her ex has moved on. You must control your temptation to reply and give it back to her. It can make this already challenging situation even more challenging for you.
3. Don’t Allow Your Boyfriend Or His Ex To Take You For Granted
When you got into a relationship with your boyfriend, you expected him to give you the love, acceptance, and respect you deserve. You expected him to have your back in situations like these. But if his ex disrespects you and he is fine with that, it’ll be natural for you to feel disappointed.
It is the duty of your boyfriend to not allow his ex to get under your skin; this is when he should take a stand for you. Make it known to him that you are not going to tolerate this behavior. Tell him how his inaction makes you have double thoughts about this relationship.
It is your boyfriend’s responsibility to establish boundaries with his ex-girlfriend. Everyone should know what is acceptable behavior and what will not be tolerated. If you think that you are not being valued by the person you love the most, then it can be a big red flag for your relationship.
4. Establish Limits And Boundaries
If your boyfriend and his ex have common friends, it can become unavoidable to not bump into each other. In a situation like this, you and your boyfriend must sit together and establish healthy boundaries. Let him know what will and will not be acceptable to you.
When you do this, make sure you do not come across as someone who has no faith in his boyfriend. Being reckless in situations like this can damage your relationship beyond repair.
For example, you can tell him that it’s ok to share greetings when he bumps into his ex at a friend’s party, but it’s not ok for him to text or calls her.
The key to a happy and satisfying relationship is healthy boundaries. Not only it brings a lot of clarity to the relationship, but it also helps you to better understand each other.
5. He Should Learn To Say No
When his ex wants the two of you to break up, she will constantly make excuses to be in touch with your boyfriend. He must keep a distance from her if he is serious about this relationship. He has to break the news to her that he is no longer his savior.
When there is a problem with her plumbing, when she has accidentally locked herself out of the house, when her car breaks down, it is not ok for her to call your boyfriend.
Although, if she still persists and your boyfriend finds it hard to say no to her, then it will make things difficult between you and him.
6. Don’t Let Her Trigger Your Emotions
Sometimes the best way to handle your boyfriend’s clingy and needy ex is to be friendly with her. Maybe you hate her from the bottom of your heart, but sometimes the only way to overcome situations like this is to be more patient and mature.
She will find it difficult to be hostile with you when you are friendly. Moreover, this can also encourage her to leave you and your boyfriend alone and move on with her life.
It’s natural for you to feel the craving to give it back to her when she is being unkind and unfair to you. But, you must understand that sometimes no response is also a response.
Don’t let her misbehavior bother you. Try to see her as someone going through a lot of mental pressure. Rather than being angry at her, try to feel sorry for her.
7. Have Faith In Him
Sometimes in situations like these, we feel compelled to jump to a conclusion too soon. Because his ex is clingy, you feel tempted to blame him for all the mess.
You start assuming he is hand in glove with her without considering things. Doing this can do irreversible damage to your relationship.
If he is being truthful and faithful with you, it will be wrong on your part to put unnecessary blame on him. Take a step back and try to look at things from a distance.
Has he crossed any boundaries? Has he said or done anything which can be treated as an act of betrayal? If not, then it will be wrong for you to put any blame on him.
Healthy relationships are built when you have great trust, confidence, and faith in your partner. When you can’t trust him, it will be impossible for you to have a strong connection with him. In times like these, rather than blaming each other, you must work as a team.
8. Open Up With Him
Open up with him and tell him how these changed circumstances make you feel. Let him know what you expect from him. If he is seriously into you, he will try his best to make things right for you.
Maybe he is not even aware of how all this is affecting you. Lack of communication can create serious problems for even the most perfect relationships.
When you have healthy communication with your partner, it eliminates the chance of confusion and misunderstandings. Not discussing things with him and letting things go can negatively affect your relationship with him.