You met a nice guy, you’re sure you make a great couple and want to make it happen, but you don’t know how to tell him? It can be tough to know when, where, and how to approach a guy you really like. In this article, you will find some tips to initiate something special with him through text without coming across too clingy or desperate.
Men tend to avoid girls who seem overly desperate, needy, and clingy. Even if you’re not like that at all, just appearing that way might scare him off.
That’s why you need to know how to text a guy without seeming desperate. There is a fine line between coming off as interested and trying too hard.
If you text a guy over and over again without a reply, it might seem clingy – even if you’re not that way.
Most women make this mistake. You might think what you’re doing is being playful or funny, but the person on the other side is more likely to see you as overbearing.
One of the stereotypes leading single ladies to hold back from dating is that of the clingy girlfriend. The image in people’s minds makes them self-conscious and, in some cases, can even put a damper on their enthusiasm.
We often see clingy girlfriends in movies; she tries to control her boyfriend and doesn’t allow him to do what he wants.
It’s mainly because of all the experience men have with seeing this in shows or movies; they start thinking that this behaviour actually applies in real life.
Yes, there are some clingy girls out there, but not as many as people think. However, men seem to get turned off the moment they get a hint that a girl is clingy or desperate.
When you think about it, “desperation” is really just excitement or joy about meeting someone new. To get a guy without coming off as desperate, you’ll need to learn how.
You shouldn’t be worried about approaching a guy you like; the only thing you need to be afraid of is not trying.
So before we talk about how to text him without seeming clingy, let’s figure out why this is something you’re worried about? What do you think is making it sound like you’re trying way too hard when you text him?
Do these issues have anything to do with worries about feeling unattractive, what other people will think of you or your suspicions that your crush won’t respond back?
This is often a sign that we’re holding onto our own insecurities. Maybe it’s just you; maybe what you are going through is a projection of your feelings.
Hot to text a guy without seeming desperate ?
You may have heard about some of these tips before or may not have heard them at all. Either way, take note because it’s how to text a guy without coming across as desperate.
1. Don’t be Too Eager.
The best way to text the guy you like the first time without sounding desperate is to act like it’s no big deal, act like you don’t even care if he texts you back (even if you think he is the perfect guy). It’ll make you feel more confident, and any potential awkwardness will be avoided.
Curiosity can drive a guy crazy, especially when you’re the one doing the cat and mouse game. If he’s playing hard to get, don’t let him off easy. Don’t be afraid to play him at his own game by giving mixed signals. You’ll get him hooked in no time.
You can try sending a quick easygoing text – “Hey, how’s it going?” or “Just checking in, what are you doing?” and if he doesn’t answer, don’t worry about it. Do your thing.
2. Wait for a Response Before Texting him Again.
We all know the frustration of sending a text message and not receiving a response in a timely manner. It can be hard to tell if he is ignoring you or just busy.
It’s perfectly normal to want to text as much as you can with the people you really like and care about.
One way to alleviate your worries is by giving him a chance to text back. If you have texted him a question, it could be that he needs more time before responding.
However, if he doesn’t respond even after 24 hours, he may not be interested in continuing the conversation.
Did you text him when it might be inconvenient, and does he usually return your texts? It might be worth considering the time you texted him if you’re not getting a reply.
Try to avoid coming on too strong because it could give off a stalker-ish vibe that you might not be intending.
Avoid texting him repeatedly in a row; it makes you look super desperate. No one likes it when they pick up their phone and see you, like, sent them like twelve messages in a row.
3. Wait for him to Text You First.
If you’re not sure how to show a guy you’re interested without coming across as desperate, just let him text you first. If he makes the first move and initiates the contact first, he won’t think of your communication with him as coming from a place of neediness.
Another way to avoid texting the guy you shouldn’t is to give him your number and tell him to text you.
That way, you won’t be able to text him if you change your mind later, but he’ll get in touch if he wants. It might feel like an annoying wait, but he’ll send the message soon enough. All you need to do is wait.
4. Talk About Things That Interest Him.
If you’re confused about how to approach a shy guy, try talking about something you know he’ll be interested in. Find good conversation starters to make him more interested in you.
Instead of gossiping about mutual friends or complaining about your ex, talk about sports, work, hobbies, family, pets, or anything else he is interested in. Guys love women who make them feel good about themselves.
If you want to get his attention, start by sharing something that he’s passionate about. He’ll be eager to text back and won’t notice how quickly you respond to his texts.
Try to chat about a band he likes or a hobby you know he’s into. That way, the pressure will be off you and the conversation will also flow better.
5. Keep Your Texts Brief.
Try to keep your text short. Even if you need to tell something or get things off your chest, try not to send them a huge wall of text.
Don’t come off as desperate by texting an entire letter, nor should you go on about his habit of not texting back – unless you’re ready to give up.
Guys are hard to read sometimes, so be careful what you say when trying to get a response. It’s important not to be too flirty or try to entice them to answer you.
You don’t want there to be any misunderstandings or regrets later on.
Don’t go into a long conversation when you text a guy – keep the conversation lightweight and try not to over-share. If he asks a question, great! But if not, avoid going in-depth because you’ll just come off as needy.
6. Tell Him You Had a Great Time with Him.
Let him know he is a great catch and how much fun you had when the two of you got together. Every guy likes hearing that they are funny and desirable; these compliments are sure to make his ego grow quickly. That way, there’s less of a chance he sees you coming off too desperate.
Text him something, like ” it was so much fun meeting you last time.”
He is likely to be impressed when you compliment him and might reward you with more attention. Once he has your attention, don’t give him compliments too often as it might suggest that you’re desperate for his approval.
7. Don’t Text if he is Busy.
Guys become annoyed quickly when they’re busy, and a girl just keeps texting him. Leave him alone if it sounds like he doesn’t want to talk or if he seems busy with other stuff.
If he tells you that he’s working or playing a sport, ask him to have fun and chat later. This shows that you care enough to ask about his day and give him the space he needs.
8. Don’t be Overly Sexual.
The idea of initiating contact with a guy is intimidating. There are so many different ways to do it, and the fear of coming off as needy or desperate can make it hard to decide what to say.
In order to come across as more confident, try not being overly sexual in your texts. Save the sexy talk for phone calls or when you two are together for face-to-face conversations.
Often, men get turned off by overtly sexual texts that show up on their phones.
This would be another way to pique his interest, but it won’t get you anything good; it makes it seems like you’re desperate for his attention. Plus, he probably doesn’t want someone who’ll degrade themselves for him as it’s really unattractive.
9. Don’t Text if He is Out with Guys.
Guys don’t want to give up their independence just because you’re impatient. If he’s out having fun with his best friend or other guys, then stop trying to text him unless he’s the one who initiated contact themselves.
If he senses that you’re trying to get too close to him or trying to invade his private space, he’ll start thinking that you’re desperate and maybe even controlling.
10. Don’t Instantly Reply to His Texts.
Men are often sensitive to needy women. To avoid appearing desperate when talking to a guy, you have to avoid replying instantly to his texts.
When you text him back right away, it gives him a feeling that you’re sitting by your phone waiting for his message. Even if you’re on your phone often, still it might come across badly.
11. Match his level of interest.
When a man only texts back one-word answers or takes days to reply, he’s probably not as interested as you are. In this case, maybe text him something flirty to see if that sparks his interest and lightens your texting load!
For instance – If he texts you with a vague promise to hang out, but doesn’t give you details, don’t do all the planning for him. Text something like “as much as I like planning dates, I think it would be more fun if you decide.”
Suppose he doesn’t reply with any other information. In that case, it means that he’s not interested. You can move on without wasting your time or energy.
12. Let him know about your other plans.
You both were supposed to hang out this weekend, but then Friday rolls around, and you’ve heard nothing from him. Send a text asking if he wants to do something towards the evening because you’ve got other plans. You need to know what’s up.
Saying this to him allows you to take control of the situation; you want to let him know you’ve got plans and don’t want to wait for him to ask you out.
Texting can be tricky if you’re trying to get someone’s attention. If they don’t answer your text right away, you may find it tempting to keep texting them – but this can come across as clingy or desperate.
Some guys may feel turned off if you appear too needy. This is where the art of the text message comes in.
You can show interest but also give him some space to do his own thing while still letting him know that you are available if he wants to get in touch with you.
The best thing to do is to remain casual and relaxed while showing your interest at the same time.