I Messed Up With a Guy I Really Like – How to Fix the Situation?

You messed up with a guy you really like. Now you feel bad about what happened. It’s only natural to feel guilty after a mistake.

You are here because you want to know how to win him back. It is important to know that you’re not alone in this. There are many women who have faced the same situation, and they don’t know how to make it right.           

If your actions (or words) have emotionally hurt him, there is a big chance that he will not want to get back to you again. But it should not stop you from trying to make things better.

If you genuinely like him and want to have a lasting relationship with him, making strong efforts to fix the mess is the right thing to do at this moment.

There is a strong possibility that whatever you said or did has hurt him deeply, and he is finding it difficult to move past that. 

Make honest efforts to express your love and care for him. But at the same time, you should also make sure that you are not begging him to stay. 

If he truly wants to be with you, that is amazing, but don’t force him if he doesn’t want to stay.

Why Women Often Mess Up With The Guy They Really Like?

Relationships are never easy; two people from different backgrounds, beliefs, and values come together to make new experiences and great memories.

But we often forget that relationships are also about dealing with each other’s personal issues and past traumas.

There are many reasons why your relationship is not as healthy as you wanted it to be. Some of these reasons are – 

  • Distrust between partners
  • Poor Compatibility
  • Bad communication
  • Lack of patience
  • Not seeing each other as equal
  • Different priorities

These underlying issues are usually the reason why you end up messing with someone you really like.

Sometimes issues are personal, while other times, they could be related to the relationship.

Whatever the case may be if you put in the honest effort and if you genuinely love and care for him, there is always a chance for you two to get back together.

How To Get Him Back After You’ve Messed Up ?

1. Talk to him

Communication is vital at times like this. If you seriously want to get back with him, you first need to talk about what went wrong. These types of conversations are never easy. It doesn’t matter if you feel uncomfortable talking about what happened; you must still talk to him.

What if he is not interested in talking?

Tell him that this conversation needs to happen. It may sound scary, but having this talk is the only way of bridging the gap between you two. You won’t be able to figure out your own feelings or his without it. Whether or not this relationship continues, you still need to have this conversation with him.

If a break-up is not handled well, it can be hard to put the relationship behind you. If you don’t understand where your ex-partner is coming from, it may be difficult for the two of you to move on and get closure.

2. Give Him Space

If you recently had a big fight with him, and you said something which you should not have said, it will not be a very bright idea now to call or text him 10 times a day.

Try to control your craving to speak with him. In situations like this, time is your best friend.

The best approach for you is to give him some time. Let him think about the whole situation and give him the opportunity to make the first move. He will get in touch when he is ready to speak with you.

3. Reflect

Before aggressively trying to get in touch with him and thinking about how to convince him to get back with you, it is important to first have a better understanding of what you did.

If your actions or words emotionally hurt him, it will be a good idea to first assess the severity of the situation. Try to get an idea about how deeply hurt he is.

Was it your intention to emotionally hurt him?

When things get tough in life, they can sometimes make us feel angry and frustrated. We tend to take this frustration out on people we love.

Reflect on yourself to find out what other factors are creating stress in your life. It will help you identify the reasons and triggers that made you mess up so badly with your partner.

If it is your relationship that is causing major stress in your life, you must try to identify the core issues.

4. Try to Be a Good Listener

When your partner agrees to have a conversation with you, try to actively and patiently listen to what he has to say.

You can try asking him about what you can do to make things better.

When he is speaking, try to stay in the present. He should feel that you are actively and patiently listening to him.

Needless to say, don’t try to argue with him again.

After you messed up with him, he probably feels hurt and bruised. The last thing he was right now is – you arguing and fighting with him again. If you want to make things better again, make him feel heard.

5. Apologize

Many people will find it very hard to apologize to their special someone. We as human beings don’t like accepting our mistakes openly.

If you care about what you have with him and want to get back together again, it’s important that you apologize for your mistakes.

Tell him that you were wrong, you screwed up, now you are sorry about it, and you mean it.

6. Don’t Beg Him to Stay

If you truly want him back in your life, maybe you are thinking about going on your knees and begging him to stay.

If you try to do any of that, understand that it will be the worst mistake of your life. Maybe, this way, you will convince him to stay with you, but the relationship will lose its charm and meaning. It will feel like he is staying with you out of pity, he will stop respecting you, and the relationship will never work as well as it did before.

If he wants you, he will never allow you to beg for the relationship. In fact, you will not even be required to beg him to stay.

7. Avoid Being Defensive

When you are having a conversation with him, you may have this urge to distance yourself from all the bad things that happened.

In tough conversations like this, your ego will want you to justify your actions. Instead of admitting to your mistakes, ego pressurizes you to argue and cover-up.

Don’t let your ego control your actions; otherwise, instead of improving, things could get more worse.

Even if you are in strong disagreement with what your partner is saying, try not to argue. It will be important to remember that you created all this mess in the first place, and it is your responsibility to fix the situation.

8. Find Effective Solutions to Your Relationship Problems

Many issues in a relationship often run much deeper than what you can see on the surface.

Relationships can be difficult. They never seem to go the way you plan. It’s not uncommon for one person in the relationship to feel unheard, unimportant, or unloved. It can be a challenge to find that spark of attraction and make it last.

Continuous fighting, disagreements, and serious unresolved issues are strong indications that you are part of a toxic relationship.

Sometimes these issues reflect problems with an individual rather than the relationship. Suppose you think that you are the reason behind why your relationship has hit the rough patch. In that case, it is your responsibility to work on these problems at an individual level.

Before reaching any conclusion, it is important to probe deeper. Find out why you are not content with your relationship. What are the areas which trouble you the most?

Be honest and control your temptation to put all the blame on your partner. 

9. Make Swift and productive Changes

Once you have apologized for your mistake to your partner, it is time to act on your promise to make things better.

If you have identified the core issues, start putting in an honest effort to improve things.

Maybe there is some big problem with your personality – explosive temper, trust issues, controlling behavior, laziness, etc.

This may sound tough, but if you promised your partner to fix these things about yourself, then you have a responsibility to follow through. It will make them feel like you’re taking the relationship seriously. 

When you are committed to working on yourself, it conveys a message that you genuinely love and care for your partner.

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