When your boyfriend follows his ex on Facebook or Instagram, it can create a confusing and complicated situation for you. Even if the two of you have never talked about exes, the chances are that you are very much aware of who he dated before getting into a relationship with you.
His following his ex on social media doesn’t necessarily mean that he still has feelings for her. Experts suggest that it should not be a major cause of stress to you.
It is usual for people to have a virtual friendly relationship with their ex-partner. However, your boyfriend must understand that his friendship with his ex should not compromise his relationship with you.
If his relationship with his ex ended on good terms, it is perfectly normal for him to be friends with her. His ex is someone with whom he shared great experiences, ideas, values and interests. Just because their romantic relationship is over, he doesn’t need to cut all ties with her.
Although it’s possible to be friends with your ex, how good or bad this idea is will depend on the people involved and the situation. Some guys manage to have a positive relationship with their exes without any complications. In contrast, others completely mess up their life and their current relationship just to retain friendship with their ex.
Should you be worried if your boyfriend is following his ex on the Instagram?
“Your boyfriend follows his ex on Instagram but never engages with her content. He never watches her stories, never likes or comments on her photos.”
If you can relate to this situation, you have nothing to worry about. Even if his ex follows him back, you should be okay with it. As long as everyone is respectful towards your relationship, you must let this go.
Chances are they are not even aware that they are following each other. Or maybe they do not want to infuse negativity into the situation by unfollowing each other.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend appears to be making an extraordinary effort to stay engaged with his ex on Instagram or if he has just started following her, this can be a cause of big concern for you.
This indicates that he has still not moved on from his past relationship. When he tries to keep track of his ex’s life, there is a high probability of things getting trickier in your relationship. You would not want to be in a relationship with a guy who still carries feelings for his ex.
Maybe your boyfriend does not know how his Instagram activities are affecting you. In a situation like this, it is best to confront him and let him know the boundaries he should not cross.
Yes, it’s no big deal when he follows his ex on Instagram. But actively liking and commenting on their post is a step too far. If you notice that they both like and comment on each other’s posts, you must take a stand and seek an explanation from your boyfriend.
When he is taking you for granted, it is natural for you to feel insecure and jealous about things. Ask him – what if the tables were turned? What would be his reaction if you liked your ex’s photos on Facebook?
If his actions have been making you feel that he still has feelings for his ex, rather than being silent about it, you must confront him before it’s too late. When you allow him to take you for granted, he may not realize how his actions make you feel.
Being silent about this issue can make you develop a lot of resentment towards him. This can have terrible results for your mental health and this relationship.
If you have a healthy relationship, you should not hesitate to open up with him. A meaningful relationship is about fearlessly expressing your feelings without blaming or judging your partner.
To overcome the insecurity and feeling of discomfort, you must speak to him directly about this issue. You can start by saying something like – “I find it unsettling when you like your ex’s posts on Instagram; I just wanted to let you know that it makes me feel concerned and unsure about what we have.”
It is also important that before jumping to any conclusion, you try to look at things from a broader perspective. Find ways to discuss this issue with your boyfriend in a non-confrontational way.
This is a sensitive situation, and you may feel inclined to assume the worst, but it’s best to hold your horses. Maybe he assumes that you won’t mind him having a virtual friendship with his ex.
You must sit with him and set boundaries if this is the case. Let him know what is acceptable and what is not.
Speculating things and jumping to conclusions too soon can damage even the most perfect relationship beyond repair. This is why it is always important to step back and look at things from a broader perspective.
I caught my boyfriend sending DM to his ex. What does this mean? Should I be worried?
Well, if they are still communicating through DMs on Instagram or Facebook, then you must get to the issue’s core. When he stays in touch with his ex behind your back, it is nothing less than a betrayal.
If his relationship with her is just friendly, why will he hide it from you? A relationship is built on trust. When he hides things, it makes it challenging for you to build a healthy and meaningful relationship with him. His lack of transparency can make you question whether or not this relationship has a future.
If he can come up with a logical and acceptable explanation, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you find him getting too defensive and coming up with hard-to-believe excuses, you must reconsider this relationship. You should be with someone who gives you the love, acceptance and respect you deserve.
It’s not too much to ask your partner to stop communicating with his ex. If he continues to do so despite your repeated requests, it means he has no respect for you. When he or his ex keeps initiating social media interactions, it means they are not respecting your relationship boundaries. It also indicates that your boyfriend has started taking you for granted.
Approach This Situation With Maturity and Patience
It’s important to approach this sensitive topic with abundant caution. Maybe it’s too soon to blame your partner for the betrayal of trust. Being reckless about this issue can make your boyfriend feel that you have no faith in him.
Make sure that you are only expressing your discomfort over him getting in touch with his ex; he should not feel that you are accusing him of cheating or breaking your trust.
It is essential to handle this topic with maturity; he should feel heard and understood by you. You can often overcome even the biggest challenges in a relationship by understanding better and making small adjustments.
When you approach these sensitive issues with maturity and patience, your boyfriend will find it easy to understand where you are coming from.
He’ll know that you are not blaming him or trying to pick a fight. It will be easy for him to understand that all you want is a logical and acceptable solution to this problem.
If your boyfriend lacks patience and maturity, he is less likely to understand what you are going through. Rather than understanding your concerns, he will try to defend himself by coming up with a counter to win the argument. Don’t be surprised if he blames you for being oversensitive and insecure.
