When people break up from a healthy relationship, they usually begin the process of moving on with their own lives. However, for some people, it can be hard to accept the situation. Their difficulty to come to terms with the breakup can make things challenging.
If you think that your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is stalking you, it’s natural for you to feel worried and confused. You got into a relationship with your boyfriend, assuming that things are over between him and his ex. But seeing her stalking you on social media or in public can be a frightening and dangerous experience.
Is It Bothering You?
Maybe she is stalking you on social media through her own profiles or from someone else’s account. But is it really bothering you? Can you easily ignore her? She may be stalking you on Instagram out of curiosity.
It’s not uncommon for women to want to know how their ex is doing after the breakup. Maybe she wants to see if he is happier with you.
Raising unnecessary issues with your boyfriend can make things a bit complicated in your relationship. Having a fulfilling and meaningful relationship with your partner requires a lot of maturity and patience. If her actions are not a cause of big concern for you, then you must let it go.
However, if her actions bother you, you should not keep it to yourself. Let your boyfriend know how this is affecting you.
Did You Speak About This With Your Boyfriend?
If you have already spoken to your boyfriend about her, he must do something about it. You talked to him about this because it was affecting you.
It is his responsibility to speak with her and ensure that she does not interfere with your current relationship. This is mainly in the case if her stalking is not limited to social media.
When her ex is interfering with his life he must put on the brakes. He has to make clear that he’s moved on and doesn’t want to be pursued anymore or have his new girlfriend (you) disturbed by her.
Does He Share A Friendly Relationship With Her?
If they work in the same office or share a child, it might require them to share a friendly relationship. And maybe your boyfriend’s friendliness with her has sent her the wrong message that he may be interested in getting back to her.
In a situation like this, your boyfriend needs to clear the air and let her know that he is not interested in getting back to her.
If you are uncomfortable with their friendship and closeness, you should make it known to him. If, despite your request, he still continues to be unnecessarily in touch with her, then it is a sign that he is taking you for granted. You deserve to be with someone who gives you the love, respect, and acceptance you deserve.
Maybe it is a time that you establish boundaries in your relationship. Tell him what is acceptable and what you will not tolerate. If he fails to respect these boundaries, you must rethink this relationship.
Has He Completely Moved On From His Ex?
Before you start to assume things, you need to analyze whether your boyfriend has completely moved on from his ex or not? It is a big red flag for your relationship if you think he still has a thing for his ex.
He must not enter into any relationship until his feelings and love for his ex have been laid to rest. You expected him to fully commit to you when you got into this relationship. His failure to move on from his past relationship is nothing less than a betrayal for you.
On the other hand, if he has moved on from his past relationship, then both of your must work as a team stop her from interfering in your life. He should not leave any stone unturned to ensure that her ex has no influence in your current relationship.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend’s Ex Is Stalking You?
1. Confront Her
The first thing that you should do is to call her and let her know that you do not appreciate her stalking you. In most cases, this will be sufficient to discourage her from following you.
2. Let Your Boyfriend Confront Her
Ask your boyfriend to speak with her. He has been in a relationship with her and knows her much better than you. When he speaks to her about this issue, it might clear up any confusion she might have about getting back together with him.
Involve Your Common Friends
If you have common friends, it will be a good idea to seek their support in this matter. Let them know what you are going through. Sometimes, it’s better to have a message delivered through a friend so that the person receiving the message can better process it.
3. Let It Go
If her actions are entirely harmless, you can choose to let them go. When you react to her actions, it sends a message that she is affecting you. This might encourage her to intrude more into your relationship. When you ignore her and do not respond, it might discourage her from stalking you.
4. Block Her From Social Media
If you are bothered by her actions, you can block her on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media accounts. If you think she has been stalking you from someone else’s account, block them too. It is one of the simplest and most effective solutions to this problem.
5. If You Think She Is Posing A Risk, Contact The Police
If, despite your repeated requests, she has refused to back off and you feel she is posing a danger to your life, you should not hesitate to get the authorities involved. Gather some evidence that proves that she has been stalking you and submit it to the police.
6. Try To Understand Her Point Of View
Maybe your boyfriend cheated on her or used her for selfish gains. It is natural for her to be mad at him in such a situation. Try to understand her point of view and make her feel heard. Maybe this is all she wants from you. Your boyfriend must also step in to make her feel a little better about things.
7. Ask Your Bf To Take A Stand?
When you asked him to take a stand, what was his response? Did he try to pressure you to let it go? Did he try to defend his ex?
When you are in a serious relationship with your boyfriend, making you feel secure and comfortable should be his top priority.
If you see him defending his ex-girlfriend’s actions, it can be a serious red flag for your relationship. It might also indicate that he still has some unfinished business with her.
When his ex-girlfriend is stalking you, he must work with you as a team to overcome this situation. But when he pressurizes you to let things go, it could mean
– He is afraid to stand up to his ex
– He still has feelings for her
– He takes you for granted
– He is trying to manipulate the situation
– He is still in touch with his ex behind your back
8. Proceed With Caution
This is a sensitive situation and must be dealt with patience and maturity. Assuming things and jumping to conclusions too soon can deeply affect your relationship with your boyfriend.
It is always a good idea to understand your boyfriend’s point of you on this issue. Giving rash and aggressive reactions to your boyfriend’s or his ex’s actions can do more harm than good.
Try to get to the core of the issue and understand the real problem. You can overcome even the most demanding challenges in relationships by communicating better and understanding with your partner.