My Husband Hates My Past – What to Do?

If your husband finds it challenging to have trust and faith in you, it can create big problems for your relationship. When there is lack of trust, you can’t think about having a meaningful and satisfying relationship with your husband.

Everyone has a past; some of us are very proud of it, while others are not so proud of it. If your partner is always looking to throw your past in your face, it will become difficult for you to maintain cordial romantic relationship with him.

Dealing with your special someone’s past can be challenging, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker. Unnecessarily dragging your partners past in your current relationship can damage things beyond repair.

You Were Trying To Hide Your Past, and He Found Out

Ask anyone, and he’ll tell you that if you want a healthy and satisfying relationship, it is best to be honest with your husband about your past.

But the question is, how honest should one be with his partner in a relationship? Are you required to tell everything about your past to your partner? Is it okay to speak about your past relationship? Or should you hide details about your ex-boyfriend?

Your personality is the sum total of your past life experiences. Whether these experiences were good or bad, they helped you become who you are today, and it will not be right for you to leave them all behind. 

Not everyone enjoys sharing specific details about their past with their romantic partner. Many people prefer taking these secret details to the grave. But, the problem arises when your partner learns about these things from someone else.

 Some men can understand this and be sensitive to your feelings. They might not get too bothered about your past.

But if your husband belong to that category of people who expect full disclosure from the partner. things can become very challenging.

If you’ve made a statement about your past that your husband has now discovered to be untrue, it can make your husband lose trust and faith in you.

He will feel compelled to believe that if you can lie so easily about small things, you must be lying about other significant matters in the marriage.

Once he has lost faith in you, it can become difficult for him to trust you again. Maybe he’ll forgive you, but he might not be able to trust you the way he used to trust you before.

It’s Not Shameful to Have Previous Sexual Partners

Some men tend to focus a lot on their partner’s past. Usually, this happens in the early stages of the relationship. But if you see this happening even after you have spent more than a year with him, it can indicate that he is overly controlling.

This sometimes also indicate that he may become a bit abusive and aggressive later down the relationship.

It is not a healthy habit to overly focus on your current partner’s previous sexual relationships. Ideally, couples prefer not to go into specific details about each other’s past relationships.

What happened in past is irrelevant to your current relationship, and going into unnecessary information can create unnecessary problems in your relationship.

It is wrong for your partner to make you feel ashamed about your past relationship. No doubt it can create an uncomfortable situation for you when he finds out about it from someone else.

But, if the two of you share strong understanding and bonding with each other, things will get normal soon.

Many of us have had relationships we regret. When you find your husband constantly pressuring you to divulge more details about your past, it indicates that he is insecure about this relationship.

Why Won’t He Let It Go?

Maybe his thoughts about your past make him feel obsessive and uncomfortable, or he wants to use your history to have more power and control over you.

When he constantly brings up your past, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is doing it deliberately. There is also a chance that he is subconsciously insecure about your history. 

If the two of you are having problems in your relationship, it could bring out the worst in you as well as your partner. And, this could be the reason why he is often unfair and unkind to you.

If you can do something about this issue, you must do it before it’s too late. Prolonged unresolved conflicts can damage your relationship beyond repair.

Encourage him to open up with you. Try to get to the core of the issue. Let him know how his behavior makes you have second thoughts about this relationship.

If you think that he genuinely loves and cares for you and that there is a chance of having a long-term successful relationship with him, then; by all means, you should do whatever it takes to fix the situation.

Maybe he also wants to stop thinking about your past relationship and get it out of his head. In relationships, you can overcome even the toughest problems when your work as a team.

Find ways to overcome this situation by working as a team. Focus on improving your communication with him. Find out how you can have better physical and emotional intimacy with him. 

What To Do If Your Husband Still Fights With You About The Same Old Things?

All relationships go through conflicts and disagreements every now and then. Although there is nothing wrong with small harmless fights, prolonged disputes and conflicts can strongly affect your relationship.

When things are not going as they should in your relationship, it can develop a lot of resentment between you.

If your husband’s hatred towards your past is causing constant turbulence in your relationship with him, then it is time for you to take a step back and give each other space. There is no space for long unresolved issues in a healthy relationship.

Why he never skips the opportunity to bring up your past?

1. They Use It To Win Arguments Against You

When a small conflict turns into something big, and it all comes down to who is wrong and who is right, your husband may bring up your past to win the battle. He’ll use it to establish his righteousness. Maybe he’ll win the argument, but this will come at the cost of damaging his connection with you.

2. He Wants To Have More Control Over You

By constantly bringing up your past mistakes, he may be trying to denounce you so that he can maintain his control in the relationship.

Maybe he doesn’t want to allow you to have your say in important decisions that impact both of your lives. And what better way to achieve this than shutting you down by bringing up the past.

When you are trying to make an important relationship decision, and he cannot convince you of his point of you, he’ll feel the temptation to bring up your past and manipulate you to agree with his point of view. 

3. To Divert The Topic

When he is uncomfortable with a topic you are trying to discuss, he may bring up your past to divert the issue and force you to take a step back. For example – When you are trying to complain about how he doesn’t help you with daily chores, to get the heat off him, he may start talking about the mistakes you made in the past.

4. He Is Yet To Forgive You

Maybe in the back of his mind, he is always thinking about your past. You may be under the impression that he deliberately brings up your history to make you feel bad about yourself. But, the truth may be that he has still not forgiven you for things you did in your past. 

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