On paper, he seems like a great guy: good looks, promising career, is into you, and yet you don’t feel that great about him.
There is one particular word that has a really bad reputation with regards to relationships: expectations.
But it is important to know that it’s OK to have expectations from your relationship or from your partner. It means you know how things should go and what standards you want in a relationship.
Although it’s natural to have certain expectations from your partner, the issue is that sometimes you don’t get what you want, and this leads to disappointment.
Setting unrealistically high expectations for yourself doesn’t make you a spoiled brat. But if you have really high expectations for yourself, that could mess with how you interact with other people.
We often think that if there’s no chemistry, it’s probably not going to work. We usually stop seeing someone if we don’t feel instantly attracted or comfortable with them.
The belief in traditional fairytales and the colloquial use of cliches can contribute to misreading other people’s signals. It can make you feel too critical about someone without even taking the time to get to know them.
If we accept all the cliches that society has been feeding us, we might end up letting some good guys go too early because they don’t live up to our fictional idea of a perfect guy with a great spark.
You might need what you don’t want: an imperfect guy who doesn’t match your list of perfect traits. When we expect something to be perfect, then we may miss out on special people that don’t seem as perfect in our eyes.
He may be absolutely nothing like you imagined your special someone to be. He might not be a very successful businessman, a doctor, an athlete, or the most emotive guy.
Sometimes it’s not about what a guy does for you or how he looks; it can just be about the moments he provides you with and being there for you when no one else is there. He may not be everything that you are looking for – and that can actually be a good thing! You might find out later down the line that all that matters is someone who cares enough to put in the effort and show up again and again.
Chemistry is difficult to understand. Below are some important tips on building better chemistry in a relationship and keeping the Spark alive.
1. It is Normal To Not Feel The Spark All The Time
When you first fall in love, it’s all about excitement and passion. But after some time, things might become more about intimacy and connection. Don’t be scared if the passion and excitement seem to have faded away; it doesn’t mean your love is gone.
The most important thing to remember when in a long-term relationship is that it changes over time. There will be times when things will be going great, and then there will be other times when they won’t.
The intensity you feel in the beginning is difficult to sustain for a long period of time. Understanding this concept is very important as it will lessen the pressure to feel deeply in love all the time.
2. Keep Appreciating Your Partner
Humans crave positive attention, and appreciating one another is a great way to go about it.
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in work or family that you no longer give your partner the necessary attention–but without it, their resentment will start building and eventually, your relationship will start to fall apart.
This can create negative impacts on relationships and lead to the development of negativity, frustration and constant arguments. When a relationship gets so bad, people often ask themselves if it’s worth staying.
It is very important to show appreciation in a relationship. When you honestly appreciate your partner, it makes them feel good about themselves.
Feeling appreciated will encourage them to keep going, which in turn strengthens the bond between you two.
Gratitude helps relationships thrive. When expressed often, it can help both partners feel satisfied and happy in the relationship.
3. Overcome Resentment
Resentment can be lethal to a relationship. If it doesn’t damage the relationship right away, it may gradually distance the two of you over time.
Relationships can often be difficult, and dealing with resentment is one of the many challenges that come along with it. Sometimes both people are resentful towards each other, and other times, it is only one person. Resentment in a relationship usually happens because of the accumulation of bad memories from the past and a series of negative situations.
You need to ease up on the resentment if you want things to get better, but it’s not going to solve itself.
You need to sit down with a partner and convey your feelings to him. Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts in a relationship.
When trying to resolve the conflict and letting go of the resentment, it is important to keep in mind that the focus should be on healing and moving forward.
4. Give Space
Spending some time away from your partner can be a good thing. When couples spend time apart, it’s easy for them to miss each other.
You can spend an hour at the gym or yoga studio, go on a weekend trip with your friends or just have some time to yourself during the day. Taking some time to do things without your partner gives them some space and also allows you to miss them.
5. Try New Couples Activities Together
Breaking routine can be good for a relationship. If you are always together doing the same things, it might not be giving either party what they need. Try going to new places together, doing couples activities or joining a gym, yoga or cooking class. As much as we love our useful routines, they sometimes make relationships lose their Spark.
When you make efforts to try something new, it will help bring back fun and excitement to your relationship. Just being in a new environment with your special someone can help you learn many things about them that you never knew about. It will give you a reminder of why you fell in love with him in the first place.
6. Do Something Nice For Your SO
It’s a nice feeling when your partner is thoughtful about you. When he make efforts to do something nice for you every now and then, it helps keep the Spark alive in the relationship.
Try to develop a habit of taking turns planning exciting dates every month.
7.Have Real Conversations Together
When did you last have a direct and real conversation with your partner?
A conversation that was not about the shopping list or the to-do list or the ones that happen just a few minutes before bed.
To have a true connection with him, you must try to form the habit of having deep conversations about your life and future. When you start dreaming together, it helps in improving the chemistry between you two.
8. Laugh Together
Laughter might not cure everything, but it’s a great way to keep the Spark alive in a relationship.
It is believed that we can’t truly love somebody if they don’t share a laugh with us. There are numerous benefits of laughing together.
The old saying laughter is the best medicine is pretty accurate! Shared laughter makes for a stronger bond and can help mend broken relationships. It is always nice to sit back and laugh with someone you care about.
If you feel that your relationship has lost some of its Spark and you can’t seem to find it, have no fear! It’s not important to feel the Spark all the time; if you don’t feel them now, it doesn’t mean you never will. This is especially the case if your partner is a good guy.