Seeing My Ex With Someone Kills Me – How to Deal With This Situation?

Moving on from your past relationships is never easy. As much as you’d like to forget and cut all ties with your ex, getting over someone you really loved is easier said than done.

After a breakup, we often feel that deleting old texts, blocking their number, or unfriending them on social media will helps us move on from our ex. But, in reality, this is the easy part; the difficult part is deleting their memory from your head.

Sometimes seeing your ex with someone else kills you from inside. It’s hard on you because you are not yet ready to let them go.

In the back of your mind, you still dream about getting back. You don’t want him to be intimate with anyone apart from you. The idea of him seeing someone else makes you feel devastated. It destroys your hope of getting back with him again. These thoughts often make you feel anxious and panicked.

If your ex has started seeing someone else, it is an indication that he has moved on. He most likely doesn’t care about your feelings anymore.

You feel bad because you still have feelings for him. Maybe you still feel connected to him in some way. If you shared a very strong bond with him, it would be difficult for you to erase memories of your past relationship from your head. You don’t want your ex to have that special bond with someone else now.

Seeing him with someone else crushes your soul. It makes you feel as if you are losing a special part of your life.

In a situation like this, it’s normal for people to wrack their brains thinking about what went wrong. You’ll constantly see yourself replaying the last love-making session or the last fight you had with your partner again and again. The worst thing about a breakup is struggling to stop thinking about your ex.

If you are looking for a step-by-step guide on getting your ex out of your head, it is important to know there is no simple answer to this question. The love for your ex can’t just disappear overnight. But, at the same time, you can make things a lot better for yourself by taking timely steps in the right direction.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries can help us control our thoughts and action. Having a disciplined approach will keep everything in check. Breaking up with someone is never easy. It will always be in your best interest to focus on making the moving on process easier for both of you.

The best way to do it is to have a clear idea about what you need and don’t need from your ex. Control your temptation to call or text them for every small thing. Set personal boundaries and lay down rules about when it is ok or not ok for you to get in touch with them.

Figure out how you’re going to break the news to your close family and friends; this is especially in the case if you’ve been in a long-term relationship with him. Doing this is important because it helps both of you stay on the same page. It gives you space and time to heal your mind and also helps in making the process of ‘moving on’ smooth for both of you.

Figure out what boundaries you need right now, write them down and see if they are strict enough or not strict enough. Find out the exact reason behind setting each boundary.

When you set healthy boundaries with your ex, apart from allowing both of you to grieve the loss of a relationship, it gives you enough space to move forward and start new relationships. This helps get over the lingering feelings that might be holding you back.

Give Yourself Some Time to Heal After The Breakup

Breakups are terrible. Even if it was a mutual decision to end the relationship, you are almost guaranteed to have some grieving period. Often, you think that this grieving period will get over within a few days or weeks, but sometimes this bout of feeling down can turn into long-term depression.

When your partner breaks up with you, it can make you feel helpless, vulnerable, and lost. You’ll have a lot of temptation to act strong and not allow these feelings to come out. But the experts always suggest that at times like these, we should acknowledge these feelings and grieve in a safe and healthy manner

Holding on to these feelings will not only disturb your mental peace but can also make it difficult for you to move on with your life.

Once you acknowledge and accept the situation, it becomes easier for you to let things go and carry on with your life.

Distract Yourself

Allow your friends and family to distract you from your breakup. Don’t just brush off that invitation when they invite you for a cup of coffee or a movie. It is a scientifically proven fact that when you use humor to overcome stress and negativity, you not only feel less lonely but also deal with the situation in a more positive manner.

When your friends try to distract you from your breakup, you feel supported and being taken care of.

You can also try to redirect your energy towards building something positive – A new venture, hobby, job, business, etc. Apart from distracting you from the breakup, it can help you identify your undiscovered talents.

It can be writing a book, taking up a hobby you always wanted to pursue or starting a business you’ve been thinking about. Redirecting your energy to something positive will also help you in adding more meaning to your life.

Maybe you still have a lingering feeling for your ex

But it’s ok; there is no problem in still loving your ex. Moving on from your past relationship doesn’t mean that you have to completely stop loving your ex. Sometimes moving on and letting go means wanting the best for your partner, even if it requires not being in a relationship with them.

Self- Care 

Try to take better care of your body as well as your mind. Ignoring your physical and mental health can make it difficult for you to move on from your ex. When you take good care of your health, it helps you stay in control and make healthy decisions for yourself. Whereas when you are in a bad state of mind, you are likely to make decisions that you’ll regret later.

It’s normal to feel disappointed about your ex sleeping with someone else. Often, a breakup can ruin your self-esteem. You think getting your ex to love and accept you again will make things better for you. But, when you see them sleeping with someone else, it kills your hope of reuniting with them.

If he dumped you, his absence could make you feel rejected and miserable. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore, but you still chase him because you want him to love you the way he used to. By dumping you, he shattered your ego and gave you enormous pain. Now, by chasing him, you want validation from him as soon as possible.

Don’t feel guilty about not wanting your ex to sleep with someone else. There’s nothing wrong with you. Just because you want your ex to love you again doesn’t make you an evil person. It’s just that you’re still emotionally dependent on him for support and happiness.

It takes time to detach yourself from someone you’ve been in love with for so long. As time progresses, you’ll be able to completely move on from him. In many cases, it takes as long as 8 months or a year to completely get over a breakup.

Rather than overthinking about your ex sleeping with someone else, focus on figuring out the real reasons why your relationship failed with him.

Blaming yourself for all the mess will not do any good. Looking at things from a broader perspective will not only help you get over this breakup fast, but it’ll also help you in getting your self-confidence back.

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