When your ex sends you a friend request on facebook, it simply means that he wants to stay friends with you.
He has realized that it doesn’t make any sense to stay unfriended with you.
Maybe you are still looking to get back with your ex. But it will be in your best interest to not misread his friend request as an invitation to restart the relationship.
Even if you accept his friend request, there is a still chance that he will not initiate any further contact. It implies that he is not yet ready to have normal conversations with you.
Breakups are always hard, especially in the cases when you and your partner have been together for a very long time. When your ex starts making friends with you again, it is natural for you to feel puzzled about it.
It is normal to feel tempted to befriend him again. But, it is important to consider various factors before replying to his friend request.
Your ex is feeling guilty for unfriending you and wants to fix things but can’t think of a good way to approach you.
This is the reason why you should control your craving to get in touch with him. Just because he sent a friend request, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to get back with you.
He might be trying to tell you that he doesn’t want to think of you as a stranger and that he wants to end all conflicts between you two.
Many people (mostly dumpees) make the mistake of reaching out to their ex as soon as they receive a friend request from them. They think, “If my ex is finally contacting me after all this time, I should not waste any time getting back together with him.”
By doing this, you are sending a powerful message that you are desperate to get back together. This may overwhelm your ex and push him further away from you.
When your ex send a friend request on social media, and you are puzzled about what it means, the best thing for you to do is to stay patient. Avoid making rash decisions. Reaching out too soon can make things more awkward between you two.
If he feels overwhelmed by your actions, he will either start ignoring you or will show disinterest when you try to get in touch with him.
The best thing to do in situations like this is to allow your ex to make the first move. They’re the one who decided to end it, so it’s up to them to be the one who takes the initiative first.
When your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook or Instagram, what does it mean?
There is a possibility that your ex was stalking you on social media and accidentally pressed ‘add as friend’.
But, that is a rare occurrence. Sending you a friend request means he’s probably in better shape emotionally than before.
Since you broke up with him, he had a lot of space and time to look at things from a broader perspective. And now he has realized that staying friends with you is the right thing to do.
Adding you on Facebook makes them feel good about themselves. This is the top reason why people send friend requests to their exes on social media. It gives them a feeling that they are doing something morally right.
Below are some of the common reasons why someone will send a friend request to their ex on Facebook.
1. He is Missing The Friendship He Shared With You
If you used to be friends with your ex before you started dating; it’s possible they’re feeling a little lost without that friendship now. There could be many reasons why the relationship didn’t work out between you two. But despite all the negative things that happened, he still wants to be your friend.
2. He Thinks that Breaking Up With You Was a Bad Decision
Maybe your ex is thinking that he made a huge mistake by dumping you. In rage or heat of the moment, we often do things that we regret later. There is a possibility that your ex is thinking that he made a rash decision by splitting up with you. By sending a friend request on Facebook, he is trying to get back together. He thinks that this is just the first step in the right direction for him.
3. He Wants to End All Conflicts
He may be very clear about not getting back together with you and rekindling the relationship. But, at the same time, he probably wants to end all conflicts and have peaceful, friendly relations with you.
4. He Realized That You Have Moved On
To know how you were doing, he checked your social media profile. By looking at your pictures and videos, he came to know that you have moved on and started dating someone else. Seeing this, he realized that it is now safe to add you as a friend on Facebook.
He believes that because you are dating someone else now, you’ll be less likely to want anything serious with him.
5. You Are a Potential Stopgap For Him
He strongly believed that he would find someone new to go out with you as soon as he breaks up with. But unfortunately for him, that plan failed. Feeling stranded, he is thinking about making amends with you. He wants you to satisfy his craving for attention till the time he finds someone new.
6. Seeking Validation
Maybe something bad and unfortunate happened with your ex, and he is finding it hard to deal with his fear and anxiety. If your ex is sending a friend request to you for this reason, probably he is feeling powerless. He seeks validation from you. He wants you to give him some attention, praise and respect.
7. Too Scared About Changes
Some people find it extremely hard to deal with a breakup. They find it difficult to digest that a person who was like a daily feature in their life is no more in touch with them.
When he chose to split up with you, he didn’t realize how hard it was going to be for him. Now, he thinks that breaking up with you has changed every aspect of his life – be it work, daily chores, finances, etc. These changes are making him feel scared. He thinks that staying friends with you will make things a bit easier for him.
8. You Have Common Friends
If you and your ex have a lot of common friends, things are likely to get awkward in future. This is especially in the case when you, your ex and your common friends are in the habit of going out together. In order to reduce this awkwardness, he thinks it will be the right decision to remain friends with you.
9. He Wants a Friends With Benefits Like Situation With You
Maybe the reason why he sent you a friend request on Facebook or Instagram is that he wants to hook up with you with no commitments. In a no strings attached relationship, couples form a physical relationship without any emotional connection. In simple words, this type of relationship implies that you only share physical intimacy with your partner, and this is as for as this relationship goes. There is no type of commitment whatsoever.
It could be that your ex is looking to have a serious relationship with someone else while maintaining a non-serious (no strings attached) relationship with you.
Should you Accept your Ex’s Friend request on Social Media?
It depends on person to person and situation to situation. But before accepting his friend request, you must ask yourself if you are comfortable seeing updates about his life on your social media feed. Is it going to affect you when he posts pictures with a new girl he started dating? If you have no problem with this, you can accept his request.
Usually, seeing updates about your ex’s life or speaking with him should not affect your psychological health.
But if seeing him going out with someone makes you feel anxious and angry, then probably it will not be a great idea to have him as a friend on Facebook or Instagram.
It is important to understand that accepting or ignoring his friend request will not affect your chances of getting back with him. But when you choose to accept his request, it might increase your hope of getting back to him. Further, you may start feeling more emotionally dependent on him. It may also make it hard for you to move on.
My Ex Sent Me a Friend Request on Facebook and Then Deleted It
It is natural to feel puzzled when he sends you a friend request and deletes it later.
There are two possibilities – either he accidentally sent the request or changed his mind after sending the friend request.
After a breakup, it is common for people to be unsure about what they want. The get confused and start second-guessing their decisions. Feeling hurt and guilty, they tend to make a lot of rash emotional decisions. This is possibly the reason why he sent you a friend request and deleted it soon after.
There is another possibility – Earlier, he thought that it would make him feel better, but soon he realized that sending a friend request would send the wrong signal.
When your ex deletes a friend request soon after sending it, try to see it as he never sent a friend request in the first place. His actions have made it clear that he is not ready for a friendship with you now. Forcing him to be friends again is not going to do any good for you. The best thing to do is to wait for him to make the next move.
If he is the one who dumped you, make sure you don’t make any effort to talk to him until and unless both of you are ready and willing to talk. Don’t make any rash decisions; he will take the initiative when he is ready.