For many women, crying can be a difficult thing to do. It is often seen as a sign of weakness. However, it makes things more difficult for them when their partner gets angry seeing them cry.
Some of us are very emotional; we get disappointed and cry for no reason. When you are emotionally down, it is normal to expect your partner to comfort you and make you feel better. It is natural to feel disappointed and confused when he doesn’t empathize and gets mad at you for crying.
People get sad all the time even if they have a perfect life. You are who you are, it’s not practical to pretend to be always happy for someone.
The key to a healthy and lasting relationship is understanding and support. If you need emotional support, but he makes you feel guilty for crying – it’s a very bad sign for your relationship. In the longer run, his lack of empathy will force you to start holding your emotions inside. And when you start holding your anger, frustration, and sadness, it eats you up from inside. Not only will it affect your mental health, but it will also damage your connection with him.
His actions indicate that he is incapable of offering emotional support and sympathy. Just because it makes him angry, you cannot suppress your emotions. You must remember that disappointment, irritation, anger, and sadness are all part and parcel of human nature. We all need safe ways to express these emotions. By trying to control how you express your emotions, he is taking away the whole human experience from you.
Maybe he has many explanations behind his behavior, but stopping you from expressing your emotions will sooner or later take a toll on your mental health. Maybe because he is incapable of understanding your emotions, he is using his anger to silence you. Getting angry when you cry is a sign that he wants more control over your life. Currently, maybe it’s only about your tears, but in the future, this may get escalated to him controlling every aspect of your life.
There are a lot of men who use anger as a tool to control and silence their partners. They use their anger to manipulate their partners to get things done their way.
Not considering you and expecting you to act and behave the way he thinks is logical and proper is not how healthy relationships work. In plain words, he is trying to convey that your emotions are unimportant and you should stop expressing them.
We all are humans, not machines; suppressing our emotions is bad for our mental health. He must know how his actions are making you feel. If he loves and cares for you, he should not try to invalidate your feeling and control how you express your emotions. You should be with someone who gives you the love, acceptance, and respect you deserve.
There could be many reasons why he doesn’t comfort you when you are sad. Some of these reasons are listed below-
1. He has a problem dealing with strong emotions
Some people find it hard to deal with emotions. Comforting you when you’re crying might come naturally to one person, while others will have no idea how to act when this happens.
Try to notice how your boyfriend deals with other emotional situations. If he never opens up about his own emotions, he is expected to not know how to react to yours.
Seeing him always distancing himself from serious emotional situations indicates that his problem is not limited to your tears. On the other hand, if he gets angry when you cry and behaves normally in other emotional situations, then you need to speak with him to get to the core of the issue.
2. He’s gotten accustomed to seeing you cry after all these years, and it no longer bothers him
Do you cry a lot? Maybe he’s seen you cry so many times that now he is unfazed by it. Perhaps initially, he was always empathetic seeing you cry, but because it happens so often, he is left with nothing new to say or do to comfort you.
Your frequent crying has made him believe that you get affected by every trivial thing. This could be the reason why he gets mad seeing you cry.
When you are always needy, it could lead your partner to become less empathetic towards you. It can make him think that there is nothing that you can do to make you feel better.
If you constantly see yourself crying for every big or small reason, you must focus on figuring out the root cause. Is there any bigger reason that is making you feel unhappy and disappointed all the time? If yes, you must address this before it’s too late.
3. He is bad at comforting others
Some people do not know how to cheer someone up when sad. Maybe he doesn’t have any clue what to do when you cry. There is also a chance that he feels uncomfortable and awkward hugging you or wiping your tears when you cry.
If you think this is the problem, then all you need to do is tell him what you want him to do in this situation. Speak with him and figure out what you can do to help him overcome his hesitation. Explain to him the importance of being caring in a relationship.
Maybe he has never done it, and all he needs is some practice and guidance.
4. He is against crying
Some people strongly believe that crying is wrong. Maybe it is because they were raised that way. They think crying is unnecessary and see it as a sign of weakness. If your boyfriend belongs to this category, then he is not likely to offer any empathy when you cry. It will be very hard for him to see the tears the way you see them.
It will be in your good interest to speak with him and make him understand the importance of expressing human emotions. He needs to understand that there is nothing wrong with being disappointed and crying.
You build strong intimacy with your partner only when you open up and be vulnerable around each other. If you want a healthy and lasting relationship with him, he needs to understand the importance of expressing emotions in a relationship.
5. He thinks you are using your tears as a tool to manipulate him.
Some people use crying as a tool to get things done their way in a relationship. Many people learn this in their childhood. Seeing you cry makes him think that you are trying to manipulate him.
Maybe his ex-girlfriend manipulated him using her tears. She may have emotionally blackmailed him into making him do things she wanted him to do.
If you stop crying as soon as he does what you want him to, it can reinforce his belief that you are using your tears to blackmail him. Maybe it’s not the truth, but this is how he feels.
6. Seeing other people cry makes him very emotional
Maybe he doesn’t have any problem with you being vulnerable around him, but he’s afraid that he will not be able to control his tears. There is a possibility that he gets very emotional seeing you cry. And maybe he thinks that comforting you will further encourage you to be more vulnerable around him.
He doesn’t want you to see tears coming out of his eyes. So whenever you cry, his immediate response will be to walk away from you.
7. He has lost interest in you
Not comforting you when you are crying can indicate that he no longer cares about you.
Has he been taking good care of you at other times when you are not crying? Is there a good emotional and physical intimacy between the two of you? Do you think that you have a happy and meaningful relationship with him?
Before jumping to any conclusion, you must get to the core of the issue and figure out the real problem. If you think that he genuinely loves and care for you and that your relationship with him is meaningful and satisfying, then his lack of empathy could be the result of his different beliefs and values.