Why I am so mean to my boyfriend?

Do you often say unkind things to your boyfriend? Do you see him always triggering your emotional reactions?

Maybe he makes you feel frustrated and irritated all the time, but it does not give you a licence to be mean to him all the time.

Sometimes stress and anxiety bring out the worst in us, and we end up doing or saying things that we regret later. If this has been happening more often than what seems normal, it is time for you to address these issues before it’s too late.

Both you and your partner deserve love, respect and acceptance. If you fail to give him the respect he deserves, sooner or later, this relationship will become too toxic for him.

When you are always mean to your boyfriend, it is going to affect his self-confidence. Maybe you think it’s not such a big thing, but in the long run, it will make it difficult for him to love and trust you.

Maybe you have a lot of explanations behind why you lash out at him so often. Still, you must remember that it’s your job to make him feel respected in this relationship.

Below are a few of the common reasons why some women are so mean to their boyfriend-

1. You Are Taking More Stress Than You Can Handle

Stress can eat you up from the inside; it affects your mental balance and impacts your ability to deal with day-to-day situations. Maybe you are not able to realize how your stress affects people around you. But if you do not address it on time, your relationship with your partner will start to lose its meaning.

When you are going through a lot of stress, your emotions will always run high. You will be less tolerant towards people around you. This may result in you lashing out at your boyfriend without any reason. Because you’re feeling bad, you start to make others around you feel bad too.

If you want to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with your partner, it is important for you to put in constant effort. And you will be able to put in effort only when you are in the right state of mind. Figure out what you can do to bring back the balance in your life. Focus on self-care and involve yourself in activities that help you to manage stress in your life. 

As human beings, every one of us goes through stress and anxiety; the important thing is how you manage this stress. It is natural for you to expect your boyfriend to be there for you when you are down. But when you are always mean to him, it will discourage him to be empathetic towards you.

Let your partner know how much you appreciate him being there for you. Don’t allow your stress to control how you live your life.

2. You Don’t Want To Be Vulnerable Around Him

Being vulnerable around your special someone helps you build a stronger connection with him. When you are scared of being vulnerable, it will make it difficult for you to have a meaningful relationship with your SO.

If you are uncomfortable opening up with him, it will make you act defensively. And this is when you are likely to say mean things to prevent him from getting emotionally closer to you.

Opening up with your partner helps build a deeper connection, but it also increases your chances of getting emotionally hurt. Maybe this is why you are scared of being vulnerable around him. Vulnerability not only helps you to grow as a person, but it also helps you get deep satisfaction from your relationship.

Setting aside your fear of rejection will help you have deeper trust and honesty with your special someone. 

Only when you let your guard down can you expect better emotional and physical intimacy with your partner. Maybe this idea is a bit traumatizing for you, but eventually, you will have to take these risks.

3. You Fear That He’s Going To Abandon You

When you are deeply in love with someone, the fear of losing him can put stupid thoughts in your mind. The fear of rejection and the pressure of keeping him interested in you can sometimes make you say or do things that push him further away from you.

This can sometimes make you act mean to the person you love the most. The fear that he will abandon you may originate from the bad experiences in your past relationship. The trauma from your past relationship could make you feel stressed and worried all the time. This stress often makes you feel that things will not work out with your boyfriend.

The fear that he’s going to abandon you pressures you into having more control in this relationship. And when you try to control your relationship, you start being mean to your partner, which makes him fall out of love with you.

When you constantly disrespect your partner, it can damage your relationship beyond repair. 

You will have to learn to manage your fear. Understand it is not important to have control over everything in your life. Relationships succeed when you trust your partner and give him the love and acceptance he deserves.

Rather than focusing on what could go wrong in your relationship, pay more attention to what you can do now to make this relationship happier and more meaningful for both of you.

4. You Lack Self-Confidence

When you don’t believe in yourself and lack self-confidence, it makes it difficult for you to treat people around you with respect and dignity.

Thinking less about yourself will often make you feel frustrated and suffocated. This frustration could be the reason why you are mean to your boyfriend.

The belief that you are not good enough for your partner prevents you from having a healthy relationship with him.

Anyone can suffer from low self-esteem. Sometimes you come across people who look nothing less than a movie star but still suffer from low self-esteem. The lack of confidence impairs your judgement, and you start making wrong choices. 

If you think you lack self-confidence, you need to take a step back and try to look at things from a distance. Not only will it give you a better perspective, but it will also help you to identify the root cause of the problem. Let your partner know what you are going through. Conveying your feelings to him and getting his support when you need it the most can sometimes help you regain your lost confidence.

5. You Think He Ignores Your Value

Maybe you believe he is taking you for granted and not putting any effort into the relationship.

In a situation like this, it can get difficult for you not to become mad at him. When taken for granted, some women become passive-aggressive with their partners. When this happens, every small disagreement turns into a big fight. Emotions start running high, and you become less and less tolerant every day.

It is natural for you to expect your partner to appreciate your effort in the relationship. But when instead of appreciating, they constantly blame you for things you have not done, it becomes really hard for you to control your aggression.

It will be in your best interest to exercise restraint in situations like this. Communicating your concerns to him might help you to find an acceptable solution to your current relationship problems. 

Inspire him to make changes to his behavior, and Guide him on how he can be more supportive and appreciative of you. Tell him how important it is for the partners to be understanding and supportive in a relationship.

6. There Are Unresolved Issues In Your Relationship

Maybe you had a big fight with your boyfriend recently. Although you are being a bit normal with him now and have stopped talking about the fight, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the issue has been resolved.

There is a chance that this unresolved issue has developed a lot of resentment inside you against your boyfriend. This is especially in the case if you think that your boyfriend has not been taking you seriously. It may be because he continues to behave the way he was behaving before the fight. When you have unresolved issues in your relationship, it weakens your connection with your partner. It negatively impacts your physical and emotional intimacy with him.

Maybe this resentment is causing you to be mean to your partner. Getting rid of these unresolved issues will help you bring back peace into your relationship. Tell him what you feel about these matters and how they affect your mental peace.

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