Relationships are not easy; it is tough to find a compatible partner. It is not a walk in the park when two people from different backgrounds with different likes, dislikes, beliefs, thoughts, and experiences decide to date each other. It’s a lot of work to blend and create a meaningful and lasting relationship.
Although, it is believed that successful relationships are all about making small compromises to keep your SO happy. Making these small compromises are essential as it strengthens the bond and is also a way to express your love and care to your romantic partner.
But, you must keep in mind that you should never agree to compromise on important things, even if you think that it may lead to problems in your relationship. Nothing is more important than your identity and who you are, be straightforward and transparent in your mind; it doesn’t matter how important it is for your partner; you should never compromise on things that matter to you.
Remember your last breakup, how it left you completely heartbroken, never forget the grief and pain you had to go through. You made a list and gave yourself a promise that you would never compromise on these things again. You promised not to allow anyone to disrespect or manipulate you. You promised that you would not permit your partner to put his goals, his dreams above yours. You now have a clear understanding of what went wrong in your last relationship and what
compromises you shouldn’t have made.
Below is a list of few compromises that you should never make in your relationship –
1. Your Goals (Personal & Professional)
If your partner truly loves and supports you, he will want you to achieve your goals in life; he will never stop you from accomplishing your dreams. Never allow your partner to get between you and your personal /professional goals.
Your SO might think that your goals are not realistic or practical; they may feel that it will be a waste of your time, and you should focus on other
essential things in your life. Everyone has different experiences, aspirations, and ways of thinking; it is not necessary that what is essential for you will be important to your partner.
Your goals are important; they give you the motivation and drive to accomplish something that gives significance to your life. Being committed to achieving your goals gives you unforgettable experiences that will lead to your personal growth. It is just human nature to strive to accomplish something. Whatever your circumstances are, your partner should be there to support you and encourage you to achieve your goals. If he is concerned about you, he’ll know the importance of these goals to you.
When you’re scared of losing your relationships, you may, without even realizing it, steer away from your personal and professional goals. If you find yourself doing this, you need to step back and figure out your priorities.
2. Your Hobbies
Just because your partner disapproves, it is not a good reason to abandon things you enjoy in your life. Your hobbies and your passion make up your identity. It is ok if you and your partner have different interests and hobbies, but each of you must have the freedom to take time to do things that you enjoy and make you happy.
3. Your Friends and family
Your romantic partner may develop a feeling of dislike for one of your friends or family member; he might not see them in the same light as you. If you feel that a friend or family member is not treating you right or is taking your undue advantage, you must listen to your partner. On the other hand, if your partner seems inflexible and demands you stop talking to that friend, you should not give in to his demands.
If you like your friend and share a strong bonding with her, then you should let your SO know that you can’t do it. It is best to find an
an amicable solution where your partner and your friend don’t spend much time around each other.
People close to you who bring a smile to your face, with whom you can comfortably share everything, give you a sense of independence and identity. If your partner cares for you, he will never stop you from nurturing relationships with these people; he will not ask you to distance yourself from these people.
When there is true love, your partner will appreciate the bond you share with your close friend and family members. Even if your partner’s wavelength does not match with people close to you, they should
never ask you to compromise your relationship or sever ties with your friend. Having said that, it is also crucial to consider things from your partner’s point of view; this will allow you to make more informed decisions.
4. Your Beliefs and Values
There are some things in life that we hold dear, like our beliefs and values; no one wants to be in a relationship with a person who has opposite views and values. If you face this situation, it doesn’t mean that you have to change your beliefs because of your partner.
Having healthy debates to reach an amicable solution is a positive sign for every relationship. You do not necessarily have to agree with everything with your romantic partner. If your partner is ignorant about your beliefs and values and expects you to compromise on them, you should disagree.
If there are aspects that matter more than anything else to you and are extremely important, you should not compromise on them. If you want your relationship to be meaningful and satisfying, you both must respect each other’s values and beliefs. No one should force you to compromise on your beliefs.
5. Physical and Mental Health
Your physical and mental health should be a top priority for you as well as your partner. They should never make you do things you don’t want to do and should never be aggressive (or abusive).
You may think that no one allows their partner to be aggressive/abusive towards them, but as per a recent study, nearly 1200 Americans are physically abused by their romantic partners every hour.
Some people find it difficult to speak up against this; they make themselves believe that this is just a temporary phase and things will get better shortly, but most of the time, these abusive behaviors are not temporary.
It is essential to raise your voice; you should never compromise on dignity and self-respect, especially in front of a person who should love and care for you the most.
You should not ignore your mental health; only when you are mentally strong and stay stress-free that you can make healthy choices.
If you think your partner is manipulative, always instigating you and playing with your emotions, then it is not healthy for you to stay in this relationship. It doesn’t matter how great he is or how deeply you love him; it is not worth compromising your physical and mental health.
6. Self- Love
You are capable of loving others only when you love yourself. It is not suitable for your significant other to constantly make you question your self-worth. Self-love is one of the essential parts of every successful relationship.
If you find your partner going to pains to make you feel inadequate and flawed, then moving forward with this relationship will not be a healthy choice for you.
In a happy and healthy relationship, your partner will respect you as a person; he will make you feel comfortable when you are your authentic self. You will not feel like putting on a show and try to portray yourself as someone you are not.
How To Know If You Are excessively Compromising in your relationship?
Agreeing to do things that you’re not comfortable doing.
It can be tricky because you show your partner how much you care about them by compromising on small things. It is a common belief that trying new things with your partner adds fun and excitement to the relationship.
There is a thin gap between – “trying new things as a challenge so that you get out of your comfort zone” and “forced to try new things
against your will.” These are two very different scenarios.
When you agree to his request to do something and immediately regret your decision, you have every right to say No. Your partner also has a responsibility to appreciate your decision. Never allow anyone to force you to do something against your will.
It’s always you
If you constantly find yourself compromising on every big and small thing, it’s time for you to take a breath and evaluate the situation.
Is your partner always the one – who is choosing restaurants for weekend dinner? To which place are you going for your next holiday? What furniture should you be buying for the house?
Does your significant other always make you spend holidays with their family? Is he always reluctant about visiting your family, even for a weekend dinner?
Are you always the one who is forced to accept the blame for starting the fight or arguments? Is it always you who makes the first move after the fight to smooth things up?
In a healthy relationship, both of you need to be willing to make small concessions to ensure things are going in the right direction. If one of you is always compromising, the relationship is not healthy and is unlikely to last.
Can you easily remember when was the last time your partner compromised on something (big or small) was? If not, then you know it; it is just you who is making all the compromises to make this relationship work.
It will not be a bad idea to ask your partner if they can remember the last
compromise they made to make you happy. There is a possibility that they also made few compromises, but you failed to notice them.
In comparison, if your SO is unable to remember when was the last time he made a compromise for you, Then it is time for both of you to discuss and get your priorities straight and decide where you want to take this relationship.