It is not very unusual for women to find themselves entirely emotionally dependent on their boyfriend or husband. But when you become needy, it does a lot of damage to your relationship.
There is a very thin line between being a strong woman with an integrated life and a woman who relies too much emotionally on her boyfriend. If you think you are too dependent on your boyfriend, then it can harm your relationship.
Being clingy and needy does irreversible damage to a relationship. No man likes to be in a relationship with a woman who is too needy. Many women realize this only when it is too late.
Examples of clingy behaviors
– Making several calls to your SO throughout the days
– Getting stressed and panicked when they don’t respond.
– Easily getting threatened when they are around their close friends (opposite sex) and office acquaintances.
– Stalking your boyfriend’s social media activities.
– Speeding up the relationship by professing your love before time and pushing your boyfriend to take the next big step in the relationship.
– Repeatedly seeking assurance from your partner about the relationship.
Like everyone else, your boyfriend also needs space. When you take this space away, you push them away by creating a toxic environment in your relationship.
Thought, you may not think this way, but there are some definite reasons behind your neediness and clingy behavior.
Suppose you think you have been engaging in these behaviors and firmly believe that you are overly emotionally dependent on your boyfriend. In that case, you are a part of what we call an unhealthy relationship.
You must know that these types of relationships usually don’t last.
Because sooner or later, your boyfriend will start feeling stressed and uncomfortable due to your clingy and needy behavior.
Being in love and being emotionally dependent are two completely different things. When you feel that you need someone to make you feel happy and complete, you become emotionally dependent. You have this unhealthy feeling that you need another person to survive.
Because you are less self-reliant, you always seek validation, attention, and support from your boyfriend. Below you will find a few tips to help you stop being dependent on your boyfriend or husband.
1. Identify Your Strengths.
Create a list of things you excel in. Do not worry; even if they’re not major things, just focus on identifying the strengths. When you know your strengths, it will help you become more emotionally independent. It will help you to understand yourself better; you will start to view yourself differently. Being aware of your strengths gives you an idea about what you can offer completely independent of your current relationship.
Start building upon your minor strength to make yourself a better version of yourself. It will help to focus on that one strength and give yourself a constant reminder about it. Soon you will start feeling less dependent on others; there will be no urge to seek constant assurance and validation from your loved ones.
2. Focus On Self-Care.
When we are not emotionally available for ourselves, it gives birth to emotional dependence. Excessive reliance on our boyfriend or husband to make ourselves feel complete and fulfilled negatively impacts our ability to self-validate ourselves. We stop seeing ourselves as worthy enough.
If you want to improve this situation, you will have to focus on self-care. Make it a point to always show up for yourself. Try to identify what you seek from your boyfriend or husband that makes you emotionally dependent on them. Can you find a way to satisfy these emotional needs yourself without relying on someone else?
3. Get To The Core Of The Issue.
Make an effort to find out where does your neediness and clinginess stem from? Some people are insecure; others have abandonment issues; try to get to the root cause of why you always have this need to be dependent on your boyfriend.
You may confide in a close friend or family member and seek their help to get to the root of your problem. Finding reasons why you are clingy in your relationship will be the first step in the right direction.
4. Relish Your Independence.
Even when you and your boyfriend share a very close bond in a relationship, you need to have space and enjoy your independence. It will help you to strengthen the bond between you two. Having space for yourself will make relationships start feeling more fulfilling and satisfying.
In an ideal relationship, apart from growing together, you should also grow independently and strive to become a better version of yourself.
When you have your sense of independence while knowing you can depend on your boyfriend or husband, it signifies a healthy relationship. On the contrary, when you leave your freedom and compromise on things that keep you happy, it will negatively impact your relationship.
5. Embrace Solitude.
We all need space and some alone time. If you want happiness, you must try to take some time for yourself to self-reflect or simply do stuff that makes you feel happy and relaxed.
It can be scary for some when they have this urge to spend time away from their boyfriend or husband. But it is essential to understand the importance of having some time for yourself. You must know that there is a huge difference between embracing solitude and being self-indulgent.
It is not greedy when you take some time out for yourself; it is a great way to manage stress. Being stress-free helps you become a better version of yourself, allowing you to add more value to the whole relationship dynamic.
People who are worried that they are too dependent on their boyfriend or husband need to find their independence. The first step towards finding your independence is to find space for yourself and embrace solitude.
Engage in self-care by going to the gym, salse, doing yoga, painting, or taking up hobbies that you can enjoy on your own.
Focus on engaging in these activities by yourself. Learn that you can feel fulfilled, be comfortable and enjoy yourself independently without being dependent on your boyfriend. When you start embracing your solitude, you will slowly start moving towards being emotionally independent.
6. Have More Friends.
Having good and loving friends can help you feel more fulfilled and independent. It is not right to expect your boyfriend to be everything for you. It would help if you had other friends with whom you could spend quality time. Sometimes your close friends play an essential part in helping you make your relationship happy and fulfilling. You learn from their past experiences on do’s and don’t of a relationship. When you find it easy to confide in your friends, it can help you make less dependent on your boyfriend.
7. Analyze If You Are Ready For A Relationship.
If you think you are struggling to get over this problem, maybe you should give more preference towards your physical and emotional health. Perhaps you are not just ready for a romantic relationship at this stage. Give yourself some time, reflect on the past and see what went wrong. Focus on increasing your emotional strength and becoming more independent.
Many times you see people who just had a breakup immediately move to a new relationship and cling. Because you have been so insecure and dependent in your last relationship, it makes you feel horrible to be alone. To overcome this feeling, you immediately move into a new relationship without even giving yourself a chance to know the other person better.
8. Open Up With Your Boyfriend.
When you are trying to bring about a change, it will help to get honest with your partner and tell him that you are working on your neediness. If he really loves and cares for you, he will extend his support to make you feel more independent and self-reliant.
Many of us will find it hard to admit to our boyfriend or husband that we feel overly dependent and needy. But the truth is that when you are needy and emotionally dependent on your boyfriend, the relationship is significantly less likely to last. So, your primary focus should be on getting to the core of the issue. Try to find a positive and practical solution that helps you become more independent.