For a relationship to work, both the partners need to put in an equal amount of work, attention and cooperation. When even one of you fails to do your part, it leads to an imbalance that negatively affects the relationship.
When your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you, it makes you feel stressed and depressed. You start to wonder whether he is even interested in being together.
When your boyfriend is too busy for you, it is a sign of a lack of communication between you. You start to feel not being valued enough by your boyfriend.
Many women complain that their boyfriend is completely absent and too busy for them. It makes it very hard for you to lay down a proper foundation for a lasting relationship in a situation like this. Relationship no more feels like fulfilling; you have this constant thought that sooner he is going to abandon you.
If both of you want this relationship to be successful and lasting, you must maintain a proper balance between your profession, friends and this relationship.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for Me.
When your boyfriend is too busy for the relationship, your biggest grievance is that you feel undervalued. Being not valued enough will make you feel terrible. There is no space for a feeling like this in a healthy relationship.
However, it would be best if you didn’t lose hope. Because, by making some minor adjustments, you can easily regain the missing balance in the relationship.
If your boyfriend acknowledges the problem and, at the same time, is willing to overcome the issue for the betterment of the relationship, then he will have to meet you halfway.
He will have to understand that fixing the situation is his responsibility too; he can’t expect you to make all the efforts.
When you see him making positive changes to fix the problems in the relationship, it shows that he genuinely loves and cares for you. On the other hand, if you don’t see him making any visible efforts, you must re-evaluate the situation.
Re-consider if it’s worth spending all the time and effort on this relationship. You deserve a partner who is willing to put at least as much effort as you are to make the relationship successful.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Too Busy For You?
Every person has their own perception of a perfect relationship. What is the right amount of time that a couple should spend together? Everyone will have a different answer to this question.
Some of us have this urge to be with our partners all the time, while others will like to spend less time with their partners in comparison.
When a couple spends less time together, it doesn’t mean they don’t connect well or have a weaker bond. Sometimes both the partners are so busy in their professional life that despite being deeply in love, they struggle to take out time for each other.
Some individuals give less time to relationships because they have their own ways of operating as a couple.
Many women have this inbuilt desire to strengthen the bond; they strive to create an environment that gives them a home-like feeling. So, when their SO fails to provide sufficient time for that, it often leads to disappointment.
These days, we often come across men who will prioritise their career, hobbies, and friends over the relationship with their romantic partner. It makes it very difficult for women to get into serious relationships with guys like these.
Below are a few tips for you on how to deal with this situation-
1. Improve Communication.
To have a successful relationship, one of the most important things you will need is good communication between you two. Many of us will find this cliché, but there is no bigger truth than this. You will find many people telling you the importance of healthy communication for a relationship, but very few will tell you how to have better communication.
A couple in a romantic relationship can be said to have good communication when they can effectively convey their ideas and feelings. To have good communication, you must be able to express yourself healthily and at the same time have good listening skills.
You must always be willing to understand and absorb what your boyfriend is trying to convey.
Have an honest and direct conversation with your boyfriend, tell him how you feel about him not giving much time to the relationship. He must clearly understand that how his actions are damaging the relationship.
It’s not ok if you feel your boyfriend is always busy with his friends and don’t give his time to the relationship. Today, it may not be apparent, but down the line, you will start feeling that he is not too serious about the relationship.
Maybe he is not aware of how you feel about this. Successfully conveying your feelings to your boyfriend will help bring a positive change in the relationship dynamic.
2. Stay Busy.
When you are very busy with your work, you will get fewer opportunities to be worried about your boyfriend’s absence in the relationship. It may not look this way, but this minor adjustment can completely shift the dynamic.
Another benefit of keeping yourself busy is that it makes you feel less needy. When we are busy doing something productive, it gives us a sense of accomplishment.
When your boyfriend sees you living a fulfilling life, he will be highly motivated to spend more time with you. Many men find goal-oriented women more attractive.
Try to find out ways to live a life that is more inspiring and more inviting for your boyfriend; this will lead him to make extra efforts to be more present in the relationship and spend more quality time with you.
3. Plan Together Time.
If you know that your boyfriend has a very craze schedule, you can take the initiative to make advance plans to meet each other. Allow him to decide on time and place as per his schedule; this way, there will be fewer chances of him cancelling the date.
Irrespective of how busy he is, you must plan in a way that both of you spend some quality time together, even if it is for shorter durations.
Planning a date night can be challenging for your boyfriend when he has a crazy schedule. Sometimes schedules get so complex; couples find it very hard to make date night plans.
Objectively looking at things, and focusing on making plans that he finds easy to accommodate, will help you keep the spark alive in your relationship.
4. Be Romantic.
When you feel undervalued and undesired in your relationship, it can be challenging for you to be romantic with your boyfriend. However, experts believe that bringing some romance into the relationship can help you make things better.
Seeing you making an effort to make the relationship fun and fulfilling may inspire your boyfriend to be there for you more. He may try to reciprocate by making initiatives on his own.
If you think he is being receptive to your initiatives, you may also try to convey your concerns about the relationship to him.
5. Don’t Blame.
No one likes to be blamed; it feels bad. Most men will try to fight back when blamed; the conflict and disagreements go around and around, leading to stress, irritation and frustration.
Blaming can have a serious negative impact on your relationship. When you blame your boyfriend for being too busy for the relationship, you make him feel alone and inadequate. He will probably get defensive and fight back, which will make things even worse.
Rather than blaming, it would help if you tried to convey to your partner how you feel alone in the relationship. Tell him how you miss his presence every day. This way, Not only you will avoid getting into an argument with him, he is likely to be more receptive to your concerns.
When you make an effort to change the relationship, try to notice if your boyfriend is receptive to your suggestion. Keep a close eye on things and try to get an idea – ‘is he likely to make an effort to take out more time for the relationship? If you feel that he is not willing to put any extra effort to make things better, then you must ask yourself if you still want to be a part of this relationship.
If you are clear in your mind that your boyfriend is not prepared to give what you need from him in this relationship, then moving ahead with him will not be in your best interest. You deserve a partner who truly loves and care for you, who is willing to put in equal effort to make your relationship with him fulfilling and meaningful.