Many women go through this phase when they don’t feel good enough for their boyfriend. You have this feeling that you don’t reach their standards.
You strongly believe that he can do much better than you; there is some confusion about why your boyfriend is still hanging around.
Often, at some point in all relationships, the dynamic between two romantic partners starts to change. With time, both individuals grow with each other to become a better version of themselves. While in some cases, it happens that one of them starts to lose their self-confidence over time.
When it comes to dating and relationships, many women have this false feeling of being undesirable, which leads them to raise emotional walls and boundaries around them.
It is not uncommon to have this sort of feeling in a relationship. Unfortunately, many women get highly convinced that their boyfriend lowers his standards just to be with them.
Sometimes these feelings are the result of a major life change. For instance – many relationships go through this phase where one of the partners gets a big promotion at work, and the other starts feeling insecure about it. This leads them to make poor life choices, the foundation of their relationship begins to crumble.
Although, many of us know that it is all in our heads. But we still struggle to get rid of this feeling. If these thoughts go unaddressed for an extended period, it can create a lot of differences between the couple.
It is a big turn-off for men to see their women think this way; most men don’t enjoy being with someone who struggles to appreciate their own self-worth.
If you strongly believe in this relationship and want it to last, you must find ways to get rid of the belief that you are inferior to your boyfriend.
You need to find out the root cause of these feelings and ascertain where these come from.
Why do we feel unworthy of our partner’s love?
The truth is that there are no legitimate reasons to justify the feeling that you are not good enough for your boyfriend. In fact, no one person is ever good enough for another.
You must appreciate that we as humans do not always need a legitimate reason to feel or believe something. We all are born irrational; every experience we go through determines who we are in one way or another.
It is essential to understand the core reasons behind these negative thoughts and beliefs to get rid of them.
1. Fear Of Rejection.
Do you constantly have this niggling thought that your boyfriend will reject you and your relationship will not last? Because romantic relationships often put you in a highly vulnerable position, it is natural to have a fear of rejection. It is not easy when you place your trust and faith in the arms of your romantic partner while expecting them to reciprocate the same.
When you start believing that you are not good enough for your boyfriend, perhaps this is an excuse to build emotional barriers around yourself. Because you are afraid of letting them into your heart.
When you have an intense fear of being rejected by your boyfriend, feeling not good enough is probably your default reaction. You want to convince yourself that it won’t work since you are not worthy of his attention.
2. Bad Experiences In The Past Relationship.
Sometimes people start seeing themselves as the problem when things don’t go as planned in the relationship. Many women will often wrongly blame themselves for not feeling happier with their romantic partners.
For instance, she may start feeling that she could have prevented her boyfriend from having a bad mood by changing her own behavior. This habit of taking all blame on yourself is an unhealthy trend for your relationship. Because, more you try to find yourself culpable, the more terrible you feel about yourself.
When you have been let down by your partner in past relationships, it may lead you to believe inadequate about yourself. You lose your self-worth thinking that it didn’t work out because something was lacking from your end.
These past bad experiences may be causing you to feel that you are not good enough for your boyfriend.
3. Childhood Trauma.
These negative thoughts about being inadequate can stem from a lack of self-confidence that you might have had since childhood.
It is believed that experiences from childhood have a very high impact on the way we think about ourselves when we grow up.
As children, we learn to value ourselves by seeing the reactions of people close to us. Our parents, close friends, and relatives help in shaping the way we perceive ourselves. This perception has a very high impact on the level of self-confidence we have as adults.
People who underwent childhood trauma are likely to lack self-confidence and self-worth when they grow up.
Maybe you were repeatedly told that you are not good enough or developed this belief based on specific experiences as a child.
4. Insecurity In A Relationship.
The feeling of not being good enough for your SO can stem from feeling insecure in a relationship.
Feeling insecure in a relationship is a harrowing and upsetting experience. You have this constant feeling that your partner is going to abandon you. You will find it hard to have trust and faith in them. The bond between you two gets weaker, and your relationship’s foundation starts to crumble day by day.
However, numerous reasons cause insecurity in a relationship; the main reason is your lack of trust and confidence in him.
(Also Read: 8 Signs You Are Insecure In Your Romantic Relationship )
5. Lack Of Support.
It is challenging to have a healthy relationship with your loved one without good emotional support. Apart from strengthening the bond and bringing you close to each other, it gives you the strength to deal with multiple challenges in relationships and life in general.
The absence of emotional support will be noxious to your relationship as well as to your mental health.
Maybe you don’t get the reassurance and emotional support from your partner you need in the relationship.
Instead of expecting your boyfriend to put in more effort, you have chosen to believe, that the real reason behind the problems in the relationship is that you are not good enough for him.
6. Physical Changes.
When you experience physical changes in your body, it may lead to low self-esteem. Your sense of identity may get affected in a way that you perceive to be negative.
These changes will probably impact your self-esteem. It makes you worried that your boyfriend could easily be in a relationship with someone better and more attractive than you.
Tips on how to Feel Good Enough For Your Partner.
A) Be Honest With Your Boyfriend.
When you start doubting your self-worth, it is essential to discuss it with your boyfriend right away. Having strong communication is key to a healthy relationship.
By not being upfront with your partner, in a way, you are damaging the relationship and limiting its potential. Don’t hesitate and tackle the situation head-on to find a positive, healthy solution to the problem. If he genuinely loves and cares for you, he will appreciate you being honest about the issue and try his best to make you feel better.
B) Self- Care.
People with low self-worth in relationships often test their spouses to determine how much they genuinely appreciate and value them.
By constantly doubting your boyfriend, you will more likely damage the relationship beyond repair. After the breakup, you will eagerly strengthen the false belief that you are not good enough and unlovable.
Most of the time, it is a feeling of deep regret when you get out of a relationship in this manner.
When you feel not good enough, it is a sign that you have to prioritize your self-care. It’s time for you to begin to look at what’s most important to you and place more focus and attention on it instead.
Try to surround yourself with people who care for you and encourage you to be a better version of yourself. Focus on things that make you feel good about yourself (hobbies, yoga, gym, cycling, or any other interest that you have). Push yourself to become a better person.
Improving your physical and mental strength have numerous benefit, it helps you to –
– Make the right decisions.
– Stop underestimating yourself
– Boost self-worth and self-esteem.
– Keep yourself motivated.
– Gives the courage to face fears.
– Keep emotions in check.
– Increases resilience.
Should you break up?
If you feel insecure, have self-doubts, and have low self-esteem in a relationship, it will not be wrong if you decide to move on.
When you stop growing in a relationship, and it starts to negatively impact your life, it is time for you to leave this relationship.
Effective communication and seeking professional help from a therapist could aid both partners to reach a point where they feel happy and secure in their relationship again. But it is up to both partners to consider this option.
The most meaningful relationships are those where strong and independent people come together to create an amazing life together.