When a guy makes you feel that you are a burden, it’s not worth your time being in a relationship with him. He may have numerous reasons why he thinks this way, but the fact remains that you are not a burden. When he behaves this way, one thing is for sure; he doesn’t deserve you. Doesn’t matter what you say, do or expect; it doesn’t make you a burden on him–you’re worth more than that!
Many of us tend to damage our mental health by feeding lies to ourselves. These lies effect your self esteem and disturb your mental balance. When you feel the negative emotion of being a burden, it negatively impacts the bond you share with your romantic partner.
You feel like a burden when you are low on self esteem and self confidence, sometimes these can be symptoms of a mental illness.
When in a toxic relationship, we often say to ourselves, “i don’t want to be a burden to my boyfriend.” The only way to come out of this toxicity is to learn to love yourself again.
Whenever you feel like this, you must take a deep breath and analyze what makes you think you are a burden on this relationship.
If you want the relationship to be healthy, you have to build your self-confidence and self esteem, focus on your values and start appreciating yourself for who you are.
1. Your Opinions Deserve Respect
When your boyfriend makes you feel like a burden, there is a high probability that he doesn’t give your opinions the respect they deserve. When someone genuinely loves and cares for you, they should not treat your views like they don’t matter.
It’s essential to have opinions; they give birth to new ideas and bring about positive change. Not only is it essential to have an opinion, but it is also equally important to share them as well.
Sometimes our opinions define us; they show what we believe in and what we stand for. Having opinions help us to take a stand; they make us appear more confident. In the absence of opinion, it becomes very difficult for you to grow as a person.
2. Your Needs Are Important.
Many of us find it challenging to speak up for our needs. We, as women, are always taught to always give to the relationships, and we are taught to play the role of provider to make sure our significant other stays happy.
But letting go of your needs and your self esteem to make your partner feel happy and comfortable is the biggest reason why divorce rates are going up. It’s like living in a one-sided relationship.
Your needs are essential, and they deserve to be met. Many of us have this habit of constantly carrying our partner’s weight and being overly attuned to their needs when our own needs are completely ignored. Getting your needs fulfilled brings happiness and a sense of safety in a relationship.
If you think your partner is ignoring your needs, you should find ways to fulfill them instead of staying silent about them.
When we are sad, we expect our significant other to spend time with us in a relationship. We expect them to show support and be with us when the whole world disagrees with us.
These needs are definitely not a big ask, but if your partner makes you feel that these needs are a burden on the relationship, he probably is not the right person for you.
3. Your Feelings Are Real.
The feelings you had in the past and the feelings you have now are real and deserve to be heard. If he loves and cares for you and understands you, he must listen to your feelings.
Your feelings are important and valid. Your partner should never make you feel small or inadequate because of the way you feel about things.
When he constantly criticizes your feelings, you will find it hard to open up with him. Invalidating your feelings will make you feel worthless and will make the relationship more toxic.
If he is still the great guy, you thought he was, and if he genuinely cares for you, he must help you love yourself again and bring back your self-esteem.
4. It’s Reasonable to Have Expectations in Relationships.
Having expectations from your partner is not unreasonable. You expect him to be honest with you and respect you, these expectations are not only realistic, but they are key to a healthy relationship.
Most of us underestimate how important it is to set realistic expectations from our partners.
Whether big or small, all of your expectations have a place in your relationship.
When you don’t have any expectations from your partner or from the relationship, it’s like you have surrendered and given up. Expectations are not to be treated as a burden; they are, in fact, a gift. When you expect from your partner, it means that you respect and believe in him.
5. It’s Okay to be Suspicious.
If you get easily jealous, it is probably because of some reason. Jealousy is a real emotion, and it might be over-reactive, but it’s not always wrong.
Your significant other should not treat your jealousy as a burden; rather, he should communicate with you to adequately address your concerns.
There’s nothing wrong with being protective and suspicious towards your partner. But, If jealousy begins to get in the way of your relationship, it might be time to address the issue properly.
6. It’s okay to have Anxiety and Fear.
We all have fears; some are less frightening while others have a more profound impact. If you tell your significant other about your fears, they must hear it and must appreciate that you’re opening up with them.
If his love for you is genuine, he should be able to empathize with your fears and worries rather than make you feel worse about them.
7. There is nothing wrong with wanting something from your partner.
Needing things from your partner reflects a healthy and mature relationship. You’re absolutely right when you tell him that you want him to understand you and be there for you when you need him. Wanting them to show up when they promised to show, “wanting them to want you” are examples of basic needs that everyone should have from their romantic partner.
If your partner thinks that your minimal wants are a burden on a relationship, he definitely does not understand the meaning of a healthy relationship.
8. Your Efforts Must Get Recognized.
If you feel your boyfriend doesn’t listen to you or starts ignoring you and isn’t too keen on spending time with you, it might be a sign that he doesn’t realize your importance and doesn’t appreciate the effort you put into the relationship.
It is a painful experience to see your significant other stop giving you the importance that he used to give in the initial days of your relationship.
It is important to remember that you are not an interruption or distraction to him; you are not a burden on the relationship. You and your efforts deserve to be recognized.
If he fails to give you the importance you deserve, you must do something about it.
9. You are Definitely Not a Burden
This is a struggle that many people go through their whole lives. When people are constantly told they are burdens, they begin to believe it. But there’s no need to let the world tell you that you’re not worth anything. You have so much to offer, and more than the world can’t possibly imagine.
Today, more and more people feel isolated and burdened by the way society tells them they should be living their lives. In that world, many people struggle to find meaning and happiness. The idea of “worth” has become skewed in the context of our society. But the truth is that you are worth a lot. If you have any desire to create your own life path, then it’s important to dig deep into what is most meaningful for you and how you want to make a difference by giving back.
When a guy starts treating you as a burden, that may be the time to break things off. You deserve better.
Work on Yourself
It’s a painful feeling when you feel like you are a burden on your friends and family members.
It often feels like you’re a burden when people constantly tell you to do things or treat you in ways that make it difficult to carry on. Negative thoughts will begin to consume your mind. At times like these, it becomes essential for you to maintain a healthy balance in your life.
You feel like you always have to be careful not to say anything that will upset your SO or make him angry. You start thinking that you’ve become needy and fear that you have become a burden on the relationship and your partner will abandon you.
Usually, you feel this way because your partner has stopped appreciating you; it’s like someone knocked you down and left you there.
Grizzly bears hibernate for seven months a year. You start thinking that it will be the right idea to take inspiration from these bears and get disconnected from the world for some time. You feel encouraged to take some time off from these problems and emotional burdens you are facing.
It’s terrible that someone you love made you feel like you were a burden to them, but that doesn’t mean that you are. Emotional burdens become a burden only when you allow them to. It’s really painful when someone you love hurts you so much that you’re scared to be completely yourself because of the pain they’ve caused you. You are valuable in ways that your partner didn’t see or try to understand so don’t let them take you for granted anymore.